What to Do When People Don’t Like You

Have you been trying hard to make friends with no good results to show for all of your efforts?

If it seems that you have been trying hard to make friends, but that other people still don’t want to be your friend, you may have come to the conclusion that there’s something wrong with you. That maybe you are basically unlikeable.

Many of us go through such torment of self doubt, especially during our teenage years, when teens are often the victims of vicious bullying from their peers for no reason at all.

If you feel as if the people you are trying to befriend don’t like you, the first thing you must do is to ask yourself: Do you have any real evidence that others don’t like you?

Or are you just imagining the worst because you are always very harsh with yourself?

People who have low self-esteem, or who are suffering from depression, are often convinced that others don’t like them, even when there is no evidence for their negative belief. People who have a poor self image can be surrounded by others who like them, care about them, and enjoy their company; yet because these people don’t believe they are worthy of being liked, they are convinced that no one else likes them either.

So, if you are feeling as if nobody likes you, try to find out if there is some real evidence that others don’t like you, or whether you are just being very negative in your opinion of yourself.

On the other hand, there are times when it’s not just your imagination that others don’t like you. It might be really true that most of the people you meet are consistently rejecting you, even when you make social overtures and try to be as friendly to them as possible.

There are many reasons this can happen.

You may have moved to a society where the people are very tight knit with each other, and they don’t open up to newcomers easily.

You might be surrounded by people who automatically dislike people of your particular religion, ethnic background, sexual orientation, skin color, or bodily appearance.

You may be surrounded by people who reject you because the clothes you wear are not the latest and most expensive fashion.

In high school years in particular, many teens are strongly conformist, and can be very cruel to those who seem to be different from the norm. Sadly, some people never grow out of the stage of judging others for trivial and superficial reasons.

If you are really are being rejected by others, it is important that you don’t make the situation worse by attacking yourself.

This will only make you feel worse, and will make you lose confidence in approaching new people in the future.

Saying negative things to yourself could start you on a downward spiral of self-doubt and self-hatred. Or you might turn your anger outwards in a spirit of bitterness and revenge towards other people. This is not a solution that will win you friends or peace of mind.

It’s also important to take a good, hard look at yourself and the way that you interact with other people. There may be specific behaviors that are causing others to dislike you, and these are behaviors which you can change.

Ask yourself the questions on this checklist. If it looks as if any of these behaviors are a problem for you, it’s very likely that if you change this behavior, that other people will like you better.

1. Are you always very negative and complaining all the time? Most people find this habit very annoying.

2. Do you actively participate in conversations with others? Or do you hold back and let other people do all the work in making conversation. If so, learn to improve your conversational skills so that talking with you is an experience that others look forward to.

3. Do you endlessly talk about yourself and show little interest in the people you are talking with? Other people will become bored with you very quickly if you seem only interested in yourself.

4. Do you try too hard to please others, always agreeing with everything that they say, and never having any opinions of your own? People won’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself.

5. Do you often say things that hurt the feelings of others and then say it was just a joke? Do you say mean things behind other people’s backs? No one will trust you if they think that you are basically an unkind person.

If you want to make other people your friends, it’s very important that you don’t give up on trying. Keep approaching people, keep trying to make conversation. Get rid of your bad social habits if they are getting in the way of friendship.

If you are being given the cold shoulder by many of the people you encounter, particularly in your school or workplace, keep looking elsewhere for people you can confide in and befriend. You can try in your church, in your community, and in your own family.

Work on developing the talents and good qualities within yourself so that you can appeal in a new way to other people with whom you will have more in common. Continue to actively search out other people who will like you and accept you.

Building High Self Esteem

Self-esteem is defined as the way a person feels and thinks about him or herself. It is believed that self-esteem is developed during the childhood years. It is largely affected by how one has been treated by the people surrounding him or her particularly his or her parents.

Many individuals suffer from low-esteem. When someone has low self-esteem it affects all facets of his or her life. Low self-esteem can have adverse effects in ones confidence, ability to build and maintain friendships and romantic relationships, career development or work performance. It could also lead to unhappiness and a generally unsatisfactory life. Self-esteem is rooted in ones belief in ones self. When ones doubts or has u uncertainties when it comes to his or her capacities then he or she is likely to be suffering from low self-esteem.

Statistics are unavailable but it is estimated that millions of people around the world are suffering from low self-esteem. It affects even those in developed and industrialized countries such as the United States and United Kingdom.

Fortunately for these individuals, there are many ways to build self-esteem. One of the most effective of these ways is to have a positive self image. A positive self image simply means an agreeable or favorable view of ones self including ones talents and abilities and physical attributes. In other words, to have a healthy self-esteem one must be able to like or love him or herself. If you do not like yourself you simply cannot have high self esteem.

Another way to avoid having low self esteem is to get rid of negative thoughts. How do you this? The most important thing is to be able to recognize a negative thought as it enters your mind. One cannot simply will a negative thought away. The most effective way to dispel negative thoughts is to replace them with positive ones. If, for example, you are beginning to have doubts. Then simply replace these doubtful thoughts with thoughts of confidence and belief.

It is important that you change the negative thought immediately and not let it linger in your mind. If a negative though stays in the mind for a long time then there is the possibility that it could turn into a habit. In which case, it would be very difficult to dispel or get rid of it.

Another powerful way to deal with negative thoughts and thus build self-esteem is through positive affirmations. These are words that suggest positive beliefs and ideas and are meant to be read or recited repeatedly. One of the most popular affirmation goes like this: In every day, in every way I am getting better and better. If you are having negative thoughts and are suffering from low self-esteem then try to say this affirmation to yourself several times throughout the day.

Finally, you can also improve your self-esteem by hanging out with positive and supportive friends and relatives. This is probably the most effective way of improving ones self-esteem. The words of encouragement and even praises of these individuals can do wonders to your self-esteem. Their love and understanding is definitely more powerful than any affirmation or positive thought. Sometimes just knowing that somebody believes in you makes you believe in yourself also.

Just follow the guidelines above and soon, your self-esteem will skyrocket.

What Is Self-Confidence?

Easy to identify, yet probably difficult to define, conceptualize, and measure…. what does self-confidence mean?

One of the main requirements to success, happiness and reaching your goals is confidence. Having enormous self-confidence will also be useful in just about every part of your life.

Lets get straight to the point. You were not born with self-confidence, that is, self-confidence is not something innate that can be taught, nurtured and built over the years, at any stage in life. Confidence is the personal ownership of no one; the person who has it learns it and goes on learning.

Your degree of confidence is truly the outcome of how you perceive yourself – which is eventually how people will perceive you. How people interrelate and respond to you is a reflection of how you perceive yourself. Therefore, if you don’t have a high degree of self-confidence or a huge deal of self-esteem then its mostly because you are concentrating on your negative traits and on what you are doing wrong.
In other words, you are your own worst enemy! The good news is that you can alter this and improve your self-confidence.

The most talented person on earth has to build confidence in his talents from the foundation of faith and knowledge, like anybody else. The device will be different from one person to the other, but the necessary job is similar. Confidence and attitude are accessible to all of us according to our skills and requirements, as long as we make use of our talents and develop them.

Self-confidence is an approach which lets individuals have positive, yet reasonable viewpoints of themselves. Self-confident people trust their own skills and abilities, have a general sense of influence in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they desire, plan, and anticipate.
Having self-confidence does not necessarily mean that people will be able to do everything.

Self-confident people do have expectations and standards that are realistic and reasonable. Even if some of their standards are not met, they remain positive and accept themselves. People who are not self-confident rely extremely on the consent of other people in order to feel good about themselves. They have a tendency to prevent taking risks because they are afraid of failure. They usually do not expect themselves to succeed. They often put themselves down and tend to disregard or overlook remarks and praises paid to them.

On the other hand, self-confident people are willing to risk the disapproval of others because they normally believe in their own skills and abilities. They tend to accept themselves; they don’t feel they have to conform in order for them to be accepted.

Self-confidence is not essentially a general trait or characteristic which permeates all aspects of a persons life. Usually, people will have some aspects of their lives where they think they are quite confident, for instance, academics and sports; while at the same time they do not feel confident at all in other fields, for example, personal appearance, social relationships, among others.