How To Create A Deep Bond

A bond in a relationship isn’t that lust that you feel when you’re staring at your partner across the bedroom, as they’re coming out of the shower and glistening with water. It isn’t that passion that you feel for them, that fire that flares and burns wildly, without restraint (Although it is important!).

No, a bond is something that’s deeper than the lust, the attraction, the fire. A bond is what gets you through the fights, what keeps you loving the other when you’re having issues, when you want to leave, and when you’re just fed up.

A deep bond is what you need to turn a fling into a long term relationship, and even a lifelong relationship. A bond pulls you together when you feel like you should be ripped apart, and it lets you live happily.

Most people don’t know how to create that sort of bond between two people, and sometimes it turns into a chronic series of relationships – they bounce from one to another, never finding that deep love and that bond that keeps the relationship going.

Are you ready to start building your relationship, strengthen your bond, and making it the best possible relationship… and ensure that it can last for as long as possible?

Let’s go, then!

Making Time

We lose our bond because we don’t have the time for each other, and creating and keeping that bond is what your relationship needs. The first key to this is to make time for each other.

We’re busy. It’s a fact of life. Work is hard, friends are demanding, and at the end of the day it’s very, very difficult to make that connection with yourself, let alone another person.

But the bond that you share is built over time with each other – so no matter what sort of day you’ve had it’s important to realize that the time you spend together is important, and you need to cherish it.

No matter what, you need to make time for each other each and every day, to develop and nurture the bond that’s between you.

Some Ideas Are…

• Eat in the dining room, instead of the living room, and avoid the television for dinner. This gives you both the time to sit and talk, and you don’t have the distraction of the television to pull you away.

• Spend 20 minutes before bed talking with each other – sit down without the TV, or books, and tell each other about your day, your plans, and what you want most out of the day ahead.

• During work, if you both have lunch at the same time, take it together and talk about what’s happened so far. You could meet at a restaurant between where you both work once a week, and it would be a great treat for you both.

• Cook dinner together, and talk about your day – and life – while you’re making some delicious food to enjoy. You get the time together you need, and the satisfaction of making your own meals.

Even just a few minutes a day can make a difference, strengthen your bond, and keep you both not only happy, but keep your relationship strong.

Listening is Important

Being a good listener is an important part of being in a relationship and if you want your partner’s trust and consideration, you basically need to be a good listener.

But how can you be a good listener? It’s hard – mostly because, for your entire life you’ve been hearing, and not listening. Hearing someone speak is different from really listening to them, and making that distinction is the first step to being a good listener.

Hearing someone speak is like taking with friends – you hear their joke, and you respond with your own. It’s simple, and it’s just the way that it is with friends.

But in a relationship, it needs to be different – you not only need to hear what they’re saying, but understand their feelings and respond properly.

Sounds tough? It is.

Being a good listener isn’t easy… here are some tips to help you be the perfect listener, and a good friend – as well as increase the bond between you two.

Remember, when you’re talking with your partner, to not tune them out in any way. It may sound stupid, but it might not even be intentional – to avoid this accidental occurrence, focus on each word they speak.

Don’t be distracted by the little things, and know what they’re saying is important – and that you need to listen to each and every word.

Never interrupt them while they’re speaking, especially about something important. This will just tell them that you don’t care about what they’re saying, and that you only care about what you’re thinking at the time.

The first sign of a bad listener is being easily distracted by what’s around you – this means that you’re just not paying attention to them. Tune out the television, the bar atmosphere, or anything else that’s around.

Maintain this attention by keeping eye contact, lean forward when you’re listening, and keep your shoulders and, if possible, your lower torso, pointed towards your spouse.

Remember that only about 25% of conversation is verbal… this leaves a lot of room for nonverbal activity. Being a good listener means knowing both verbal, and nonverbal communication!

Other Things That You Can Do

Looking for more day to day suggestions – the small things that can really create a lasting, deep bond between you two? I’m not talking about being a good listener, but doing things each day to improve your bond, and your life.

The little things, if you will, to make it stronger, and make you both happy.

Clean Together

Make a date, and clean together. Really, consider it – why?

When you are living together you have twice the housework that you would have if you were single, but usually one person in the relationship takes charge of it all as the other hates doing it! This means that one of you does a lot more around the house, and chances are, the other doesn’t contribute much.

So instead of one of you messing around and sitting on the couch while the other is doing the dishes, once a week help each other clean! Put on some friendly music – something light, and bouncy – and put your cleanin’ shoes on.

Do the laundry, wash the dishes, and pick up things that are laying around. Talk while you’re cleaning, and discuss your day as you’re sweeping the kitchen.

You not only feel the satisfaction of knowing that, yes, your home is clean because of you, but you spend some quality time together that you wouldn’t have elsewhere. You never know – you may end up liking to clean!

Or not.

It’s still a great way to bond (especially because they appreciate the help, or you do if it is you that usually does it!)

Start a Project

Do you have something that you’ve been meaning to do for a while, but haven’t gotten around to it? Maybe you’ve wanted to retile your bathroom for a while? Or perhaps you need to paint and redecorate that ugly spare bedroom, and turn it into an office… but you just can’t find the time, or energy, to do so?

It happens – we all have those sorts of projects. But instead of letting them anger you, why don’t you make it a sort of ‘date’ with your partner? Let them know that you’re going to do it right now, and together – do every part of it with them too.

Buy the materials together, and let them choose what sort of things you purchase… each night, or weekend, do something on it, and make it your project.

Don’t  have the TV on while you’re working on it, either, because that will distract you two away from each other. Put on a favorite, upbeat CD or good radio station, and get to work.

Remember that this is fun, though, and you should take it lightly… don’t get angry over little things, and you might just have a good day!

“Those who play together, stay together”

Ever heard that saying? The couple that plays together, stays together… it’s true, and you can play together by creating times and dates to workout with one another.

No matter how out of shape you are, doing simple things can strengthen your bond, and afterwards, every time they do it without you, they’ll remember the time you spent together.

Nice? Very.

So, what sort of activities can you enjoy… and no, I’m not talking about doing things in bed (Although that is a different sort of bonding!).

Hiking is a great thing to do with each other, and you don’t have to hassle with any bulky equipment, canoes, or something else entirely. Just grab enough water to keep hydrated, and a few snacks to keep your energy up, and head out.

If you’re not convinced that hiking is for you, or if you’re too out of shape to want to try hiking, consider walking trails at your local park. There’s probably at least a few around you, if you look hard enough – and you not only get out in the open, and breathe fresh air, but you get decent exercise.

Make it a day, and bring a picnic – leave it in your trunk, and after you’re done walking, enjoy the area and eat some delicious foods. Who can argue with that?

Remember to bring healthier foods, though!

Biking is also a great treat – you can pick up a mountain bike very cheaply, and you can ride around the neighborhood, or try some beautiful, but simple, trails. It’s not hard, and it is fun!

You get exercise, get healthy, and really bond together. That time that you share is something you can’t replace, and your bond will be stronger than ever before.

Get Away

Ready to leave it all behind? Good! This is honestly one of the greatest ways to bond – hop online, and go to websites like www.Expedia.com or www.Travelocity.com, and look at their last minute vacation offers – this usually includes a hotel, a flight, and sometimes even a rental car.

Drop everything… cancel any plans, pack up a bag, and head out. It’s random, it’s romantic, and it’s an amazing way to bond together on any weekend.

There doesn’t have to be a special occasion. Celebrate your love for very little money (Most of the time, less than $1,000 for you both!), and even if you never leave your hotel room, you have something so incredible.

You can go shopping, and walk around locally… you don’t have to spend money if you don’t have it. Eat at small mom and pop diners and spend time looking at the things that don’t cost anything like the beautiful buildings and parks.

Remember…

Building your bond is something that’s very important. Without a bond, your relationship will basically go nowhere – if you don’t understand how important this deep bond is, and how you can create one, you’re going to be in the same old crap relationships again and again, where neither of you are happy.

Care for your partner – think of them, love them, and treat them well. Know that they are a human being, and deserve your attention. If you’re really serious about the relationship, work towards a bond and know that they will do the same.

There’s nothing more that you can do. Just know that, if you really do care, you’ll develop this bond.