Often after someone has lost a family member, they’ll say “I’ll always remember her smile, the way she laughed, the little jokes she would tell to lighten the mood.”

Could it be we love people who have a great sense of humor? I’ve always thought so. And now we have scientific proof of what many of us long suspected. Humor is one of the things we enjoy most about life and, frequently, the people we love are the ones who make us smile.

Fortunately for those of us who probably aren’t that funny, humor is most often in the eye of the beholder. The guys at work may not laugh at your wise cracks, but if SHE laughs, well that’s all that matters.

For a long time, nobody in the scientific world knew much about humor. But during the past 20 years, more and more research has been done. We know what parts of our brains deal with humor. We also know when a baby starts to develop a sense of humor.

So don’t hesitate. Let your funny bone show through!

* When you think something is funny, don’t be afraid to let it out. Just think first if your remark might be taken the wrong way by those within earshot. Humor is great — foot-in-mouth is less great.

* Use humor to ease uncomfortable situations. When the mood starts to get tense, an appropriate chuckle and humorous side remark can get everyone back on track.

* If you’re not naturally funny, read cartoons, joke books, the laugh lines at the back of Reader’s Digest, and pay attention to how script writers set up funny situations on TV. You CAN learn to be more humorous than you are. Pay attention to humor and your sense of humor will develop.

Above all else, be someone who APPRECIATES humor. Try not to make someone feel bad when you don’t find their attempt at humor to be all that funny. As long as the humor isn’t in grossly poor taste, give your humorist a smile. And be one who isn’t afraid to chortle and guffaw when someone really pushes your funny button. A good laugh can be the best medicine you’ve had all day.

Learning and mastering the basics of making your partner laugh is the first step… you can try the tricks that the biggest of pickup artists use, but if you don’t know the foundation behind it, there’s no real point of ever doing much at all.

Relax

Don’t stress yourself out, this isn’t your driving test! You are just trying to put a smile on their face and if you don’t succeed then you have plenty of other chances. The more relaxed you are the better chance you have, so take some deep breaths and then get going!

Getting In the Mindset of Being a Funny Person

Most people don’t consider themselves a funny person, and because of that, they come off as not funny. That’s not a nice thing to come off as to begin with, and feeling like you’re not funny can be even worse.

Getting in the mindset of being funny is hard, though, especially if you’re not used to considering yourself a funny person. But you can be and that’s the first thing you need to start telling yourself……… that you’re a funny person.

It works on the same basis as happiness – if you pretend that you’re happy, you become happier. Get into the mindset that you’re a naturally funny person, and it all flows a lot better.

You will start to find the humor even in the bad things like falling over or burning a hole in your favorite top! And if you can provide humor at times when others would be wallowing in self pity then you can really brighten up people’s days and help them when they need it the most.

Be Comfortable when Cracking Jokes

Awkward times to crack jokes include…

-In the bathroom

-After your first kiss

-With their parents

…You get the idea, right?

If you’re not comfortable with yourself, and your area, when you crack jokes, they’re probably going to come out funny – and not the good funny. Start doing more in an area you’re comfortable with, and branch out from there.

The more comfortable you are, the better your joke will be received. It’s that simple!

Learn When It’s Appropriate

This goes with the above, in some ways. Only certain jokes are appropriate at certain times – you wouldn’t tell a dirty joke at your partner’s sisters wedding, would you? Well, you might, depending on their family. But that’s not the point!

You need to make certain jokes at the right time, so that they’re received at the best way. This includes when they’re in a bad mood. If they don’t feel like laughing, your joke is going to be met on deaf ears, no matter how funny it is.

How to Create ‘A Funny’

You have the basics, right? Well, at least the bones of what you need to be funny, and keep your partner amused. Now, let’s branch off a bit, and go with the next step of basics.

Finding Good Jokes, Stories, and More

A good comedian knows that not all funny jokes are funny when a certain person tells them. You can be the funniest person in the world, but it can sound awkward if you tell even the best of jokes. Some people just aren’t cut out for some jokes.

Telling which jokes are good for you… that’s the hard, but important, part.

Choose jokes, and stories, that you’re most comfortable with. If you blush when you hear someone swearing, a dirty joke certainly isn’t the type of thing that you should be reciting – and if you’re comfortable with even the boldest of topics, maybe you should stick with them.

Figure out your comfort level with jokes, and stories, and learn how to gradually expand that by telling different ones. Never, ever tell a joke that you’re not comfortable with – it will come out bad each and every time.

Finding Good Jokes and Stories

There’s no point in being naturally funny if you don’t have a joke or story to talk about in order to be funny. And finding a good joke isn’t hard, in this day and age, if you know where to look.

The first stop should actually be the internet. See if you can find a website that has quality content in your comfort zone, or a good site with thousands of different joke ideas, and funny situations to capitalize on.

A Google search will turn up more websites that you can possibly handle, and that’s a good thing. You have some great ideas to start with.

Your next stop should be to your bookstore, to check out the humor section. From books on how to be funny, joke books, and books of entertaining stories, you can find just about anything. If it’s a good bookstore, sit in their café area and read your piles of interesting material as you’re sipping a coffee.

Finally, you can pull much of your material from other comedians… and they can be big name ones, too. All you have to do is start with ‘I was watching this one guy on TV…’, and you’ve got a great story that they’ll love.

Comedy Central often has some great material out there, and once a week they have a different comedian on. If you’re looking for someone in particular – like Dane Cook, for example – you can either buy their DVD, or watch it online somewhere. You’re sure to find clips on someplace like ComedyCentral.com, or YouTube.

The more material you are exposed to the more stuff you will have to call on when you need it. You will also become so used to it you pick up how they make things funny which will help you no end.

Popular TV also makes good material, imitating people from TV can be funny, like Homer’s ‘DUH!’. Just make sure that if you do imitate people off TV and famous comedians, because if you just try and rip off someone’s joke and your partner says, ‘Oh yeh so-and-so said that’ then you will feel like a right plonker and it won’t be funny at all (not to mention you look like you can’t come up with stuff yourself).

Find your own style

Again, we are different, we have different personalities and different ways of thinking. As you try different things you will find your true style in the end.

Don’t get caught up in trying to ‘be like’ someone, if that is not your style you will just be awkward and never get really good at anything funny, pay attention to what you enjoy or what you are good at.

General tips

Smiling is powerful and infectious, smile as you say your jokes so that if they are a bit obscure people know you are joking as you say it, and also to make them smile as they listen and then they are much more likely to laugh!

Be animated and enthusiastic about the joke (unless you are doing deadpan sarcastic humor… then don’t!)

Make sure you don’t rush it, I used to do this all the time, trying to rush through the joke to avoid taking too long, and then ruining the whole effect… take your time and enjoy the process.

Don’t ever, ever laugh before the punch line! It ruins the build up!

If all else fails… poke fun at yourself!

Sometimes the person you are with just doesn’t want to laugh, or maybe they are feeling bad because of something or worried and you don’t want to say anything that might upset them.

In those instances go for the old fall back of poking fun at yourself!

It get’s people’s guard down, I mean if you poked fun at someone else in the room they could say you were being nasty, include them in a joke and you could be being inconsiderate or just wind them up more. But poke fun at yourself and how can they be upset with that?

Either recount and embarrassing story from your childhood etc (we all have some!) or maybe tell them about funny things that have happened in the past month or so. How about making something up that is so obscure they will laugh at the very thought or it?

Like saying you couldn’t tie your laces till you were 10 until your parents were sick and tired of it and made you tie together everyone’s spaghetti when you were having Spaghetti Bolognese and then you learned it…

Say it with a straight face and wait for them to start with a, ‘Really?’ or a, ‘You’re having me on!’ until you let on you are joking!

Overall…

I’m recommending that you start with jokes, because they’re the easiest way to ease into being funny. If you start with jokes, you can make more jokes off the cuff in a funny situation – and you become even funnier as you become more comfortable.

Remember the very basics – like ‘be comfortable’ – and don’t be afraid to take some chances with your jokes. Never be discouraged if they don’t find it funny at first, because there’s always another time to make them laugh.

Laughter is like music – it’s beautiful. Especially when it comes from someone you love.

If you think all this sounds like hard work then remember, everyone wants someone who has a ‘sense of humor’ so it is a big turn on and ice breaker when you can be funny.

Here are some websites to give you material to get you started:

http://www.onlyfunnystories.com

http://thejokes.co.uk

http://www.jokes2go.com

http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com

http://www.allcleanhumor.com

http://stupidous.com

But for many, laughter doesn’t come easy. Making your special guy or gal laugh can be difficult, and if you’re nervous, or awkward, around them, it’s going to be even worse. What can you do?

Well… it’s not easy. And it’s something that you need to practice at. But making your partner laugh can not only be the most satisfying part of the day, but you’ll make’em feel like a million bucks.

So, where do you start, and how can you put a smile on their face for sure?

Something to Keep in Mind Before Continuing…

This is something that no book, report, article, or movie will tell you.

Everyone is different. They laugh differently, they love differently, and they endure hardship differently. And because of that, each person will laugh at something different.

There is no one way to make someone laugh – and there is no one way to make someone not laugh. Knowing your partner, and knowing what they like, really is the key to making them laugh.

That being said, this article is here for informational purpose only. These are ways that I, and other men and women, have found to make their partners laugh, from what not to do, the foundation of the laugh, and more.

I’m not saying that you’re going to become the next Dane Cook with this article – but you should have a better idea how to please your lover in the funny department.

What Not to Do to Make them Laugh…

I thought that we would start this off right – by putting things to avoid in here, before anything else. You can be the funniest person in the world, after all, but if you don’t know when to stop, you’re going to get annoying.

Pranks are Not Cute

Yeah, yeah, we’ve seen the old throw-ice-down-their-pants-when-they’re-sleeping prank a hundred and two times… but has your partner ever, once, thought it was at least a little funny?

The answer to that question is a resounding ‘no’. Remember that pranks are only funny on television, and that your partner is not going to appreciate you cementing their car, throwing ice on them, or jumping into bed at two in the morning drunk. No matter how funny you find it to be.

What Works on Your Friends…

What’s funny with your friends often isn’t funny with your partner, no matter how ‘with it’ they are. Many times, your partner won’t want to be considered ‘with it’ – they want to be your ‘it’. Most people have more friends of their own gender than the opposite, so your humor will be both from them and aimed to make them laugh.

Take the time to learn what your partner thinks is funny, you will quickly pick up cues as to what they find funny when you start trying, and then you can improve on what works and cut out what doesn’t!

Don’t Be Funny by Being a Jerk/Jerkess…

It’s not cute to flirt with the waitress or waiter when your partner just made a joke about you going home with him or her. They made that joke not to be funny, but to cover up their insecurities – so flirting with that person is going to make it worse.

Being cruel and saying things that are meant to undermine your partner while you pretend to be joking are a surefire way to being single not to get a laugh!

You’ve been out on a few dates recently, but none of them seem to be working out. You don’t seem to have a problem actually getting the date, but somehow the second date never comes. What are you doing wrong? Are you breaking some kind of dating rule?

Probably. You’re probably breaking the biggest date rule of them all: learning how to communicate. Learning how to communicate effectively is the single best way of getting asked out on a second date. Communicating badly, which can be done in several different ways, is a surefire way to mess up any date, regardless of how much thought and effort you’ve put into trying to make it a success.

What you need to remember when going out on a date is that you want the other person to get a better idea of the kind of person you are, without talking too much or too little. People who talk about themselves too much, are a real turn off. Not only that, but they’re annoying. For some people it’s in their nature to talk about themselves, and yet other people babble, because they’re nervous, which is natural. Instead, get the other person to talk about himself or herself, and maintain some mystery. By doing this, the other person will want a second date, just to learn more about you.

Talking too little is another surefire way to mess up any date. Your dating partner doesn’t want to go out on a date with a manikin! They want you to talk, make them laugh and they want to get a little insight into who you are and what you’re all about. Make it easier for them, and open up a little.

People love to laugh. Laughter is infectious, and sexy. This doesn’t mean you have to be the next Chris Rock, it just means you should try to loosen up and enjoy yourself. Tell your date a few funny stories or a joke to liven things up a bit. If you can make him or her laugh, you’re half way to getting a second date.

Just remember to be yourself. A surefire way to mess up any date is to be a fake, which is another communication problem. Be confident, slightly mysterious and make them laugh. Those are the keys to any successful date and the path towards a second.