Many individuals suffer from low-esteem. When someone has low self-esteem it affects all facets of his or her life. Low self-esteem can have adverse effects in ones confidence, ability to build and maintain friendships and romantic relationships, career development or work performance. It could also lead to unhappiness and a generally unsatisfactory life. Self-esteem is rooted in ones belief in ones self. When ones doubts or has u uncertainties when it comes to his or her capacities then he or she is likely to be suffering from low self-esteem.

Statistics are unavailable but it is estimated that millions of people around the world are suffering from low self-esteem. It affects even those in developed and industrialized countries such as the United States and United Kingdom.

Fortunately for these individuals, there are many ways to build self-esteem. One of the most effective of these ways is to have a positive self image. A positive self image simply means an agreeable or favorable view of ones self including ones talents and abilities and physical attributes. In other words, to have a healthy self-esteem one must be able to like or love him or herself. If you do not like yourself you simply cannot have high self esteem.

Another way to avoid having low self esteem is to get rid of negative thoughts. How do you this? The most important thing is to be able to recognize a negative thought as it enters your mind. One cannot simply will a negative thought away. The most effective way to dispel negative thoughts is to replace them with positive ones. If, for example, you are beginning to have doubts. Then simply replace these doubtful thoughts with thoughts of confidence and belief.

It is important that you change the negative thought immediately and not let it linger in your mind. If a negative though stays in the mind for a long time then there is the possibility that it could turn into a habit. In which case, it would be very difficult to dispel or get rid of it.

Another powerful way to deal with negative thoughts and thus build self-esteem is through positive affirmations. These are words that suggest positive beliefs and ideas and are meant to be read or recited repeatedly. One of the most popular affirmation goes like this: In every day, in every way I am getting better and better. If you are having negative thoughts and are suffering from low self-esteem then try to say this affirmation to yourself several times throughout the day.

Finally, you can also improve your self-esteem by hanging out with positive and supportive friends and relatives. This is probably the most effective way of improving ones self-esteem. The words of encouragement and even praises of these individuals can do wonders to your self-esteem. Their love and understanding is definitely more powerful than any affirmation or positive thought. Sometimes just knowing that somebody believes in you makes you believe in yourself also.

Just follow the guidelines above and soon, your self-esteem will skyrocket.

This is why communication is so important. It is the key to opening all those doors. Without it, the doors will remained locked and one will have to work very hard to break through. It is much more productive to just talk, listen, and understand your partner. I am not saying that this will be easy, but with love in your heart, it can be done. The end results will definitely be more lasting. For every forced door, there will be a negative memory to try to bypass in the future. When doors are open with love, patience and respect, they will have only good memories to savour and smile upon in the future. Those are extremely important in tearing down those walls.

Communication is a very important act between two people. It even has more importance than sex to keep a relationship building stronger. In order to to communicate, it takes two willing and open minds. If one mind is closed, all that will happen is the other will grow in confusion and frustration.

Some of us worry about the ABC`s in life and others worry about the EF&G`s in life. Thats OK. It is what adds to the color to our black and white life with each other. Yes it would be easier if we all worried and thought about things equally. It would be less confusing. But only for a short time. Soon enough our complacency with each other would get “OLD”. It would be as if we could read each others minds, but what would be the point if we thought and worried the same.

A little bit of controversy is a much needed thing in a relationship. It helps us to get to know another part of our partner and also our own selves. When we open our hearts to another, only then will we offer this part of us. Until then it isn’t necessary. One very important thing about a person sharing their inner most fears and disappointments is never, ever, try to stifle that person or walk away in frustration. If someone is that open with you, embrace it and  hear them out. Never belittle their concerns as being immature or nonsensical because you would never have those concerns. Remember the ABC`s, we all think differently. Only then can you both communicate, otherwise you will add another block to the wall of communication breakdown.

When we are forced into silence, we begin to build walls. If we are not allowed to voice our inner feelings or disappointments, we will quickly stop trying to communicate forever. Once the first brick has then been set, the foundation of the wall to communication breakdown will rise up very fast. Trust me, there is not a single relationship that does not carry or tear down a brick to the wall of communication.

There are many levels of relationships. Some of us are put into situations that take much courage to see past our hurts and disappointments. Just remember what brought your relationship together in the beginning. Many times we will be forced to return to page one and start from there. With open minds and nonjudgmental hearts we can get past many mistakes and problems that will arise in a relationship.

Another favorite, but not so good habit that we as humans create, is to regurgitate things over and over again. I use the word “regurgitate”, because that’s how I view having things being tossed back in your face. Have you ever noticed that another lovely habit (NOT) that we as humans have is to only dig up the dirt when we are in the heat of anger? We do this time and time again, because we already know that these things are a guaranteed hit. It is a very cheap and bullish way to try to win a conversation. Is that not what most communication breakdowns are? Conversation wars that end up shooting old ammunition back and forth at one another? The problem there is that noone ever wins that battle. All that is really happening is that both parties have just taken an equal part in adding more blocks to the wall of communication breakdown. Both sides lose.

Communication can only really work when neither party is being selfish, meaning that if one person is feeling that they are being attacked with every word that is coming their way, and it is all about hurting them. They have automatically closed an open door without even realizing it. Low self-esteem will surely make a person feel this way. Or if one partner gets carried away and will not stop to let the other party absorb what was just said, this too is a typical selfish act. That is why it is important that we take turns with each other and try to understand what is actually being said.
If one partner misunderstands, and you are aware of that, then you are responsible to stop and work with them in a loving manner to get them to open that door. It is vital to not assume anything until the other person has completely finished.

This is why the power of writing is so productive. One person writes his/her thoughts down, uninterrupted, without fear of being derailed from their thoughts and with the ability to just get it all of their chest, so to speak. People pay big bucks to be told just this, so listen up! If you find that your wall of communication breakdown is starting to build, then this habit of writing letters to each other is a very good way to bypass the wall.

Always reread your letter before handing it over. That too helps you to maybe erase a thought or two that was purely emotional when writing it. We all know that old saying, “I did`t mean that, I was just upset at the time”. Well there’s a hind site tip for all of us struggling with that d**n wall of communication breakdown.

Do you ever feel that you are so far under that wall, that you will never be able to communicate with your partner again and just want to run away? Before you run away, think about exactly what and why you are running from. Are you running from a partner that could very well be the best thing that ever happened to you? Or are you in fact running away from your own issues that you refuse to deal with? Remember this, if it is your own demons that you fear, you will run forever. You will never be happy. You will always blame your relationship or your partner for your downfalls. Running away is a cop out. It is a true weakness in character. To stay and fight and trust that your partner will understand your troubles is a true sign of courage and one that will be greatly respected.

We all have our pasts. We must understand that yes, they did happen and that is what they are, past issues. To have your past continue to come between yourself and your partner is a bad thing. Whether it is a person or just an experience, it should be left in the past. This is where good communication comes to the rescue yet again. When we are made aware of certain issues in our partners pasts, it sometimes makes them easier to understand and deal with if they happen to come about again. If we are left in the dark and we have to meet up with another’s past and it is not a very good experience, we will be weak in defense and our ability to communicate positively will be almost non-existent.

Some people fear their partners pasts, viewing them as a threat to their own relationship. This is normal and should be dealt with through love and understanding. Again we must communicate with each other and not look down on anyone for their honesty and true fears.

That wall of communication breakdown will never completely come down if we skip a few blocks and ignore them, or handle them so wrong that they double in size. A good strong relationship will endure most any mistake made by humans as long as both partners are willing and honest with each other.

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“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

- Anthony Robbins

“Words are a wonderful form of communication, but they will never replace kisses and hugzzz”

-Dorothy

“Some think that love is all flowers and good times, but I think that love is more than just that. Love is the bad, as well as the better, not lived alone, but a journey together. Something that only the closest can share, with communication, respect,”

-Anonymous

Credit to:
Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

One of the main requirements to success, happiness and reaching your goals is confidence. Having enormous self-confidence will also be useful in just about every part of your life.

Lets get straight to the point. You were not born with self-confidence, that is, self-confidence is not something innate that can be taught, nurtured and built over the years, at any stage in life. Confidence is the personal ownership of no one; the person who has it learns it and goes on learning.

Your degree of confidence is truly the outcome of how you perceive yourself – which is eventually how people will perceive you. How people interrelate and respond to you is a reflection of how you perceive yourself. Therefore, if you don’t have a high degree of self-confidence or a huge deal of self-esteem then its mostly because you are concentrating on your negative traits and on what you are doing wrong.
In other words, you are your own worst enemy! The good news is that you can alter this and improve your self-confidence.

The most talented person on earth has to build confidence in his talents from the foundation of faith and knowledge, like anybody else. The device will be different from one person to the other, but the necessary job is similar. Confidence and attitude are accessible to all of us according to our skills and requirements, as long as we make use of our talents and develop them.

Self-confidence is an approach which lets individuals have positive, yet reasonable viewpoints of themselves. Self-confident people trust their own skills and abilities, have a general sense of influence in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they desire, plan, and anticipate.
Having self-confidence does not necessarily mean that people will be able to do everything.

Self-confident people do have expectations and standards that are realistic and reasonable. Even if some of their standards are not met, they remain positive and accept themselves. People who are not self-confident rely extremely on the consent of other people in order to feel good about themselves. They have a tendency to prevent taking risks because they are afraid of failure. They usually do not expect themselves to succeed. They often put themselves down and tend to disregard or overlook remarks and praises paid to them.

On the other hand, self-confident people are willing to risk the disapproval of others because they normally believe in their own skills and abilities. They tend to accept themselves; they don’t feel they have to conform in order for them to be accepted.

Self-confidence is not essentially a general trait or characteristic which permeates all aspects of a persons life. Usually, people will have some aspects of their lives where they think they are quite confident, for instance, academics and sports; while at the same time they do not feel confident at all in other fields, for example, personal appearance, social relationships, among others.

First, a positive attitude reflects confidence and self-respect. As we already discussed, confidence and self-respect are vital. A positive attitude also directly affects how other people feel when they’re around you. For example, have you ever had a friend or co-worker who was always down or pessimistic? If you have, did you notice that after a while his or her mood started making you feel down or uncomfortable or irritable? Chances are it’s happened to all of us. So remember, if for no other reason than to not be a dark cloud hanging over everyone’s head, try your best to be positive and have a good attitude.

But it goes much further than that. When you’re trying to make your best impression on a woman, being negative will not work. You have to feel good before you can make anyone else feel good. You have to radiate the same kinds of feelings you want to receive. If you’re not giving off those positive vibes we’ll pick up on it and most likely steer clear of you.

The bottom line: women like to find a man who’s stable. Part of what women judge stability on is your work. No, this doesn’t mean you need to be a rocket scientist. It simply means that if you’re changing jobs every couple of months, or getting let go for poor attitude or poor performance, which is directly affected by your attitude, then we’re going to think twice before we get involved with you. Remember, women are looking for a partner; a 50 – 50 relationship.

While it’s a given, women actually look for successful men because they’re more likely to be satisfied. So you may be wondering what a man being satisfied has to do with anything. Let me explain. You see, women know that men who are satisfied with themselves are less likely to go out looking for someone to satisfy them and are more stable.

And in a relationship that means a man will be less likely to cheat, or change jobs frequently or get himself into any number of other compromising situations. Remember that most women are looking for a man who will be their partner as well as their lover.

Not only do they want a partner when it comes to things like companionship, decision-making and finances, but in the bedroom, as well. In order to effectively seduce a woman you must make her feel as though you’re both equals.

When it comes to confidence, it seems there are two kinds of people – those who have it and others who simply don’t. Although on the surface this may be true, everyone has the potential to be “self confident”, or motivated if you would like to call it.

Take heart in knowing that you’re a good person, smart, funny, good at your job, loving, considerate or whatever else you find to be positive character traits that you have. Be comforted to know that NOT all women are looking for a CEO or brain surgeon. They just want a man who’s confident with who he is, what he knows and what he has to offer to a relationship with them!