How To Improve Your Relationship

Is there magic to what makes some relationships last longer than others? Maybe. Do some people just sit back and sulk, while others seem to let life go by right over their heads and problems? It sure seems so. Or maybe it’s just that some people learn secrets of success from their grandparents or other relatives or friends. And since the latter is probably more accurate, here are some tried and true tips from people who have enjoyed long, happy relationships.

1. REFRESH – Take time to look back, refresh your memories and share what brought you together. Especially when times are difficult, lean back and rely on these old memories as your foundation and glue yourselves back together with them (not literally, of course!)

2. DATES – Keep dating each other. Even if life seems too busy, meet at the end of the evening for something light and easy, like viewing your favorite sitcom (record it if necessary) together.

3. FUN – Couple tend to have fun on dates, then get married and become too serious. Lighten up. Head out to amusement parks or skating rinks, but relive the fun you had at the beginning.

4. FORGET – No need to “always” remember the bad things that happened during an argument. Actively “forget” sometimes. Be the first to apologize and make up. Go for it!

5. SPACE – Give each other some space. Either you trust or you don’t. Get on with life, though. People need time alone and time with their mates and other friends. Be sure to give and take your fair share of space.

6. DISAGREE – Agree that it’s okay to disagree on some issues, and leave it at that. No need to create a new religion or political movement just to appease both of you. You don’t HAVE to agree on everything. And you won’t. And that’s okay.

7. MEMORIES – Make some together. Enjoy special moments, special anniversary dates and events. No need to be elaborate. For example, maybe you enjoyed watching a hot air balloon race one spring day. The next year, you might schedule time to watch it again. Make it an annual event. Collect postcards with balloons on them, playing cards, toss pillows…over time it becomes a theme.

So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship.

Improving relationships require knowing what to do and how to do it. If you follow some tried and true tips, it is possible you can also improve your relationship.

Nice Guy Approach Doesn’t Always Work

Many men feel that approaching a woman, especially a beautiful stranger, a difficult and embarrassing one. Not only that, they usually choose the wrong attitude by being too nice – sending her lot of flowers, taking her out to dinner frequently and by expressing their lack of confidence and low self esteem. The women on on the other hand are not fascinated by insecure, wussy men. If they sense insecurity, they will either turn down the offer or possibly take advantage of him by exploiting him to furnish her meal after meal, gift after gift and normally go out with another man for real love, romance and sex. In this situation the woman has two men – a provider and a lover.

The good boy, fawning, wussy approach is inviting a woman to dance or offering to pay for her drinks without first developing the attraction or chemistry.

Is Cocky rather then Wussy the answer?

The sweet boy attitude isn’t the best, nor is acting mean and rude. The best way which has proven 90% of the times to work magically with women is the confident, bold, cocky and funny attitude.

In this tactic you build the relationships on a give and take, a compliment and a criticism (with a smile):

you show her you’re confident enough to criticize her
you express yourself naturally around women
you are not afraid of her
you are not concerned if she cares about you or not
you’re honest and express your opinions openly
you are playing the self assured hard to get funny guy.

Now you bring her self confidence to the test, you challenge her, you intrigue her, you build the attraction. Let her chase you! You ought to be her prize, a reward for her hard earned efforts for playing her cards right with you.

For example, you say something like: I like your jacket it’s really nice (a compliment), then comment: but it doesn’t fit go with your shoes does it ? (a criticism), you do it on purpose.

You hand it to her and then take it away at the last minute, be spontaneous, unexpected, a teaser and fascinating.

How would you know if she is interested in you?

It’s simpler than you think and it goes like that: You engage in a tease with her: What a beautiful pair of boots you’re wearing , I really like them. She looks to see who is it and then says: Thank you. You: Aren’t you sweating in them in such hot weather? (smiling) or are you trying to hide your feet from me? She: (smiling) hell, no, I love them that’s all, I’ll bet my feet are nicer compared to yours, Mr. long nose. (she responded therefore she is engaged too *-). You: wow, you have a very good opinion about yourself pretty lady, why don’t we arrange a feet contest…

The crucial thing is to keep it going with light humor and fun attitude. Without ever even realizing it you are both engaged in developing a relationship and building your mutual attraction.

When you start dating a woman take into account you are not on a job interview, don’t cause it to feel like questions and answers, don’t make it boring, don’t try to show off, or talk about general stuff she understands and sympathize with. In the beginning it may seem somewhat superficial but try to keep away from talking about your problems at work, your relations with your parents, etc.

Background Checks

The big controversy now in online dating is the background check dilemma. Many of the states are beginning to suggest legislation that would require online dating websites to perform background checks on its members or state if they do not. This is creating quite a stir in the online dating world and with members both for and against the online date background checking rules.

The complete controversy began when the online dating scene was still fresh. This happened with a website that signed an exclusive contract with the Internet’s largest background checking service so that members could be sure that they were not conversing with the criminals. This at first may seem like a good idea since it will protect online daters from sharing personal information with people that have been known for sexual offenders or have committed fraud or other types of criminal acts. However this website than began pushing legislation that would require online dating websites to perform background checks.

This website has an exclusive contract and they would then force other websites to use more expensive background checking tools, and so the subscription fees would be more expensive. This would be controversial and also created a lot of free advertising for the initial background checking website. To say the least, it was a way to rise above the competition. This however, did not come to light until many politicians had already jumped on with the background checking idea.

Checking a person’s background can be a good thing. It can prevent online scams from reoccurring and help people feel safe about using online dating websites. However it is also a type of invasion of privacy and many people will avoid online dating websites because they do not want a background check and people do change.

This is a situation that will be sure to be in the news for many years to come. There are already a few states that passed a law that will require background checks. Users and online dating websites do have mixed feeling about this and before you say your opinion you should be sure to understand both sides of the argument. Making background checks mandatory could create a better online dating service for everyone. However it could also mean that the free services would no longer be available and subscription services would be more expensive than they are now. To learn more about the online dating website background checks that are out there in your state, you need to contact your local legislator’s office and ask about multiple questions. You should voice your opinion and you can create change.