Relationship Break Up Advice – How To Save Your Relationship Or Move On

June 28, 2010 by pattycakes  
Filed under Relationship

Are you looking for relationship breakup advice?  Then you’re probably feeling as though this is one of the lowest points in your life. Now that may very well be true, but however badly you’re feeling right now, this feeling will pass!  You will get through this!

What you do now, depends on the outcome you’re looking for. If you’re ready for the relationship to be over and have no interest in trying to save the relationship, then then you will go one way. If on the other hand you’re looking for a way to save your relationship, then you will need a whole different set of tips and strategies to make this happen.

Relationship breakup advice for those who want to save their relationship is based on how you handle yourself in the run-up to the breakup and immediately after the breakup. If you are at the point in your relationship where your partner has just announced they want to end the relationship, then my advice to you is to agree to the breakup. Your biggest mistake would be to try and persuade your ex to stay in the relationship and not to leave you.

Agree to the breakup, let your ex go and wish them well. Your plan now is to get yourself together. Yes you’re devastated that the one you love has walked out, but you have to find a way to deal with that devastation and to deal with it in a way that will help you rekindle your relationship in the future.

So spend some time coming to terms with what has happened in the relationship. You need to do this on your own, without your ex. Make no attempt to contact your ex, instead find your friends and your family and let them help you through this upsetting time.

What you can also do is to make peace with yourself. We all make mistakes and depending on the level of your mistake, it is forgivable!  So don’t spend the next few weeks beating yourself up.  When it comes to contacting your ex in a few weeks, you need to be emotionally sound and appealing to pull off the reconciliation.

If you have no interest in rekindling the relationship, then the relationship breakup advice you’re looking for is about finding strategies about how to cope with the trauma.  You need to be able to move on with your life, so above all, give yourself time.  Treat the ending of the relationship almost like a death.

It really doesn’t matter whether you wanted the relationship to end or not. The point is it has ended and there was a time when you had real hopes for the relationship.  Acknowledge that and acknowledge your disappointment that it has ended and you’ll come through this in time.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace

Emotional Infidelity – Is There Really Such A Thing?

June 27, 2010 by pattycakes  
Filed under Relationship

Are you wondering about emotional infidelity, what it is and is it ok if you’re in a relationship?  Well you’re not alone. Many people think about infidelity only on one level: the physical.  In fact it’s true to say, that many people don’t even believe there’s such a thing as emotional infidelity. Well they’re wrong!

First of all let’s define “emotional infidelity!”  This classically occurs when someone in a committed relationship/marriage forms an emotional attachment with a third person outside of the relationship.  This may seem trivial to begin with but it can escalate and become something else – in short, become physical.

So, if you’ve formed a friendship that you cannot tell your spouse/partner about then you should seriously ask yourself why?  To be perfectly honest, you should not have a relationship/friendship with anyone that you cannot openly and honestly discuss with your partner. The minute your partner is shut out of any part of your life there is a potential for distance. With distance comes real and potential problems to your relationship.

This is not to say that you have to tell your spouse/partner about every single part of your day. The distinction here is that if you are deliberately hiding a friendship with a third person, and hiding the nature of that friendship, from your spouse/partner!

What you should also consider, when it comes to emotional infidelity, is how your partner would feel if they ever found out?  Perhaps you are sharing intimate details of your life with your partner with your secret friend? How would your partner feel about that?  Knowing that any problems the two of you are having are being openly discussed by you with someone outside of your relationship?  Not only that, someone who could quickly become a destructive element within your relationship?

Emotional infidelity, might seem like a little bit of harmless fun when you first set out but it can quickly and dangerously escalate into something that can seriously threaten your relationship. You will find that your partner will have picked up on the fact that you’re even more distant than usual and this is because you are sharing with someone else and pretty soon you’re thinking about that someone else more and more.

Once this happens it can often be a short step towards a full on physical relationship and that’s why any emotional attachment that your partner does not know about it so dangerous.

If there is a problem in your relationship then it is best sorted out between you and your partner and if need be with professional outside help, or perhaps even with trusted friends.

Make no mistake, emotional infidelity is as dangerous as physical infidelity.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace

Relationship Pointers To Keep Love Burning

June 24, 2010 by pattycakes  
Filed under Relationship

In this article I’m going to give you some pointers, that if followed, could help you keep your relationship strong and loving.  I will include a list of three things you can do that will make your partner feel loved and respected.

One word of caution though: while this list focuses on how you can treat your partner, it’s also vitally important that your partner does the same things for you.  I’m not encouraging a one sided relationship. Those never work, or at least they don’t work from the standpoint that one partner isn’t getting their needs met so the relationship isn’t a healthy one.

In a strong healthy relationship both partners should be getting the majority of their needs met.  They should feel love, respect, friendship, understanding, and desire coming from their partner.  They should be giving those same things back too.

So before you plow into the list, I want you to take some time to evaluate who you are as a person.  Make sure that you are able to give and take equally.  This is so important because in most relationships one person is the primary giver and one person is the primary taker.  That is not good.  Ideally both parties should be fairly close to a 50/50 split between what they give and what they take.  That’s what I want you to strive for.

Don’t be the one who does all the giving, or most of it.  And don’t be the one who does all the taking, or most of it.  Try to balance yourself and encourage your partner to do the same.

OK, now on to the list:

1. Ultimately we all want to feel like our partner actually likes us.  So make sure you take time to have fun with your partner.  Share your day with them.  Tell them the good things, and the bad things.  Have some laughs together.

2. Help build your partner up.  You don’t have to lie…if they ask you if they’ve gained weight, and they have, you don’t have to say ‘no’ but you could say that they look good to you.  (by the way, never ask a loaded, stupid, question like ‘do I look fat in this”? No good can ever come of it!)

3. Too many relationships lose physical intimacy, and I don’t just mean sex.  When you and your partner were dating you most likely held hands, rubbed each other’s hands or backs, basically you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.  You just had to be close and touching as much as possible.  Don’t let that slip away.  Never underestimate the power of a gentle touch and other physical contact.

And while sex is important, don’t let all your physical contact become only sexual in nature.  You should always enjoy touching your partners cheek or sneaking up behind them and putting your arms around them for a hug.

I know that if you use some of the ideas I’ve given, you can be one step closer to maintaining a strong loving relationship with your partner.  Just try to maintain some of the wonder, and love you had for your partner when you first met.  By doing that you have a much better chance of keeping your relationship strong and happy your whole life.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace

How To Get Over Someone You Love And Move On With Your Life

June 22, 2010 by pattycakes  
Filed under Relationship

Are you wondering how to get over someone you love?  Are you at the point where you’re starting to believe that you will feel this heartache forever?  Well the heartache will probably not disappear overnight, but equally, it won’t last forever.

Here are some tips to help you move on.

1)  Still in contact with your ex?  Then the the truth is, to understand how to get over someone you love starts by you breaking all contact with them. There is no point in still talking to your ex on the phone or seeing them socially if you’re trying to get over them and you’re still in love with them. All you’re doing is making the pain you’re in last longer and go deep. So break contact.

2)  Get out and about and meet new people. The last thing that you want to do is to spend your days and nights sitting home alone, brooding and thinking about your ex. If you’re out and about with friends then you can distract yourself and occupy your mind with other things. Yes you probably still have to go home alone, but it means you’re not spending hours on your own when you’re at your most vulnerable.

3)  Be good to yourself. No doubt mistakes were made by both you and your ex, so don’t spend your time blaming yourself for what you did wrong. That’s not to say you shouldn’t accept responsibility for your own mistakes, but learn from what has happened and take what you have learnt into the future.

Understanding how to get over someone you love depends on you coming to terms with where your life now is.  If you’re not happy with yourself, then you will have a hard time leaving your past relationship behind you.

Think about the direction you want your life to go in.  Are you headed the right way or are you stuck or moving in the exact opposite direction?

Do you need to make a different career choice to fulfill your goals?  Is there more studying to be done?  Perhaps you need a different group of friends to socialize with?  Maybe dropping some pounds and getting fit is what you need?  Whatever new path you need to take to move you forward in life, then you need to do it because a move like this is often the answer to the question “how to get over someone you love!”

What’s also worth remembering and will help you, is to accept that just because you love someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be with them.  If that person is not right for you then moving on, for yourself, is the best thing you can do.

Enhanced by Zemanta
Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace

How To Save A Relationship When The Fires Died Down

June 21, 2010 by pattycakes  
Filed under Relationship

Do you want to know how to save a relationship?  As time goes by, the flames of a relationship may tamper down. If both of parties do not know how to save a relationship, what was once thriving it will become mere embers.

If you are in a relationship – be it a boyfriend and girlfriend type or a marriage – you need to learn how to save a relationship before it becomes irretrievably lost. These tips show you how you can keep the love alive and enjoy each other’s company even after several years have already passed.

First of all, you need to rediscover each other. After a long time together, everything in your relationship becomes a routine.  You feel you “have” to do this and that. When you get used to each other, you fail to realize that there are still a number of areas in your lives that you have not truly explored. This is especially true for married couples. The demands of life including the bills that must be paid and even the burden of raising your children may become walls that keep you from enjoying your spouse’s company.

If you want to know how to save a relationship, you need to figure out if you have fallen into a routine.  Often when the routine becomes too boring, one of the members of the couple tries to recapture their old romantic feelings by starting an affair.  If you are thinking about doing this, take a time out.  Ask yourself whether potentially losing your relationship is worth experiencing the feeling of being “in love” again.  Think about ways that you can redevelop that feeling with your current husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend rather than looking outside the relationship bonds.

Some suggestions for rekindling the flames are to:

·    Have dates at the old places where you used to go
·    Get dressed up and go to a romantic restaurant
·    Walk along the beach at sunset
·    Have a picnic at the park.

If none of these suggestions work, there is another thing you can do to save your relationship.

You should start to have “adventures” with each other.  Step outside of your relative comfort zones.  When you start doing things you’ve never done before together, the bond between you becomes stronger.  You start to lean on each other for support through the adventure and thus you begin to lean on each other in all aspects of life.  You begin to see each other in a new light.  You’ll probably find that you’ve missed the other person more as a result as well.

If the relationship is worth preserving, you need to be creative about the experiences you share.  Turn an ordinary night of watching television into an extraordinary one by breaking out the Champagne.  Write sexy messages on the bathroom mirror in lipstick.  Write a love letter and place it in a bottle.

Make the ordinary extraordinary and you will spice up the relationship again.  In this way you will learn how to save a relationship.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • NewsVine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Technorati
  • Live
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace

« Previous PageNext Page »