Happiness is a gift only you can give yourself – Do you ever wonder when walking down the street, if people crossing your path are happy?  Do you ever wonder why you are, or are not happy? Do you ever wonder why it’s so hard to stay happy?  Happiness is not something that happens naturally. My secret for happiness comes from my relationships with family, friends and those closest to me, but not without my relationship with Jesus Christ.  I discovered that for me, true happiness can only be achieved through God.  Knowing who He is and what He has done for me, has allowed me to recognize happiness.  I respect others choices to believe as they wish, but for me, I choose to believe in Jesus Christ.

Right now I am under attack with happiness as a wife.  I have never been completely happy in my marriage, and my situation is due solely to my choice.  I married someone unequally yoked, and now I’m living with the consequences.  For me, there is no real right or wrong in my decision, there is good or bad consequences.  As a Christian woman, I knew I should have married a Christian man that believes as I do.  However, as many Christian women do, I didn’t heed to the Word and married thinking I could change him.  I tried to change, what could not be changed through me.  As I constantly strive to be a Godly woman,  living with a nonbeliever that doesn’t comprehend or respect my relationship with the Lord, is very difficult.  My husband is a good person.  He figures that if he pays the bills, doesn’t smoke, drink or hang out with his buddies, that should be sufficient.  He even had me thinking it was enough, so I felt guilty and tried to play the role of a perfect wife.  I did all the right things, even if it meant forgetting myself.  He’s still unreceptive to my thoughts or needs.  Most of the time I feel invisible.  Again, like most Christian women married to a nonbeliever —- I prayed, pleaded and cried out to the Lord for guidance!  I thought if my husband had a relationship with God, then I could have completely happiness.  I thought this, only until I read “HOW TO BE A HAPPY WIFE OF AN UNSAVED HUSBAND” by Linda Davis.  After reading this book I realized I was doing it all wrong. Not because Linda says so in her book, but because it all makes sense.  I realized that you can’t change, what doesn’t want to be changed.

I still pray that my husband realizes the need for a relationship with God, but I do not dwell on it or allow it to drag me down.  Linda’s book taught me to grow my own relationship with God, so that I can continue to be happy.  I know now, that my husband will have a relationship with God when the time is right.  I have resorted to the fact that my happiness comes from within me and my faith. –– Now it’s time for you to find WHERE your happiness comes from. No matter what type of relationship you are in, you deserve to be happy!

Never lose hope and don’t try to control what is not in your control.  I learned it the hard way!  If you read “HOW TO BE A HAPPY WIFE OF AN UNSAVED HUSBAND” or other books focused on happiness by Linda Davis, maybe you can find your own answers.  I found mine while living with an unsaved husband.  God bless you Now and Forever!!!! REMEMBER!  God… is the blessed controller of all things, the king over all kings and the master of all masters.  (I Timothy 6:15)

An – InTence Mind

If you’ve been watching the news, you’ve probably heard of big sports stars, politicians, and others getting in trouble for “sexting” outside their marriages.

But what you probably didn’t know is that there are tens of thousands of women and men around the world using simple little text messages inside their relationships to create amazing romance, intimacy and passion literally at  the push of a button.

Text The Romance Back?

Relationship expert Michael Fiore created a step by step system for using tiny little text messages to create a private “intimate channel” between you and the man or woman in your life… even if you don’t have much time
together (due to kids and jobs) or if your lover doesn’t seem very “romantic” now.

“The great thing about texting is that it’s private and you can do it anywhere” says Fiore. “Just by sending a few tiny little text messages you can ‘wake up’ the romantic center of your partner’s mind… give them a private ‘text massage’, tell them how you really feel, and really create an amazing level of heat… just by pushing a few buttons on your phone.”

Proven To Work On National TV

Fiore was forced to put his money where his mouth is when he was featured on the Valentine’s Day edition of The Rachael Ray Show. Live, in front of millions of viewers, Fiore showed a couple how to use his “romantic texting” techniques to amazing affect. Every woman in the audience sighed and Rachael herself said that Michael gave her “chills.”

Why do we worry so much?  We worry about not knowing what’s ahead.  We are anxious about our careers, our friends, our relationships, our partners – the list could go on forever.  Can we really ever be content or worry free?  What would it take to get us there?

Well, I have discovered a secret that works for me! I’ve learned that the only way to truly be completely content is through my Faith.   You see, I have never had much in life, but I have always had just enough.  Sometimes, even a little more than just enough, but somehow, I always found myself wanting more with the excuse that I needed it.  How do you cope when you can’t compete with your neighbor?  Do you get mad? Do you feel it’s unfair? Do you even envy them?  I can sincerely say I have never envied anyone for having more, but sometimes, I have thought it unfair.  I have even found myself asking God, “WHY?  Why do they have more?  Why do they seem to have it so  much easier then I?  Why can they get the latest model vehicle and I still have to drive around in my beat up car?”  Believe me; trying to keep up with the Jones can take an emotional toll on you.  I’ve been there, done that, and it’s not WORTH it!!!!

We begin to lose focus on what should really be important to us and by the time we look back, it’s too late, we realize our lives have flashed before us.  We have nothing to show for and feel empty and unfulfilled.

My relationship with God and my family have taught me to be content.  Sure I’ve made many mistakes, as have most of us, but what has helped me get passed my mistakes, is my faith.   I have learned to recognize my errors, repent, and move forward.   Our relationships with our spouses, our children, our friends, partners,  boyfriends, etc, should be what matters most.

Sure it’s been a struggle for me to let go and be free from anxiety and worry.  Trust me when I say, I still deal with it today.  When I’m feeling the attack and my walls are crumbling around me, I seek out my support group, God, my family, my sister’s in Christ and my closest and most truthful friends.  Those friends that will tell me the truth, not the ones that will tell me what I want to hear!  Thank the Lord for friends.  Sometimes I think, with friends like that, who needs enemies!  Well, like it or not, we need them.  Those are the friends you can count on.  When I begin to “freak out,” as my kids would say - I remember this verse:

I decided to join the women’s study group at my church and they were scrutinizing a book called “Calm My Anxious Heat” by Linda Dillow (A Woman’s Guide to Finding Contentment).  Boy was I in for a real treat.  This book not only spoke to my heart, but it inspired me to write this page.  It tells you, Yes You!! Reading this right now! What the solution is for Calming Your Anxious Heart.  We all have anxiety in our life, but how we deal with it is what makes the difference.  This book will guide you to breaking free from that horrible feeling.  If you want to learn how to truly be content, I recommend you read this book.

God bless you I’ll be writing to you soon.

Other titles worth viewing…

An ~ InTence Mind

When working at surviving a break up, don’t depend on your ex to help you get through the breakup.  That means that you will have to stop all contact with your ex and not rely on them for the late night chats or for help to move that huge piece of furniture from one side of the room to the next.  Whatever space your ex filled in your life, you’re going to have to to fill that space with someone or something else.

Surviving a break up means that you have to look forward and not constantly look back.  Of course if your relationship was long-term and you were in love, then you are not going to simply get over the end of that relationship over night. It will take you time to come to terms with what has happened.  You will need to reflect and process the relationship. However, a huge mistake would be if you spent all your spare time thinking about nothing but ‘when you and your ex did this, or when you and your ex did that!’

Get ready to get out and meet some new people. Meeting new people can be a great buzz.  It can help you to see that there is life out there, beyond your ex, and you can be a part of that life. So get out of your dirty sweats and go and talk to some new people.

When you’re surviving a break up, it is very easy to find that you have not been looking after yourself physically.  It could be that you find that you’re eating nothing but junk food and you might even be drinking too much.  Remember, alcohol is a depressant and though it might make you feel much more able to cope with what you are going through in regard to your breakup, come the next morning it will only make you feel low and depressed.

Instead, concentrate on eating well and adding some exercise to your life.  Take one day at a time and before you know it, you will have got through a month and then many months and you will have survived your break up!

by Bob Grant, L.P.C. author of “The Woman Men Adore”

Every day in my counseling office, I hear women say some variation of this:

“In the last few years, I have had relationships with men who, at first, seemed perfect for me.  They were attentive, attractive and fun to be around.  Then suddenly, as if they knew they had reeled me in, they stopped trying.  They stopped calling as much, stopped taking me out and basically stopped the romantic dance that couples do when they are falling in love.  Was it me?  After all, I think I’m attractive, have a good personality and I work out to keep my body in nice shape.  So why then, do I always end up with the men who become “couch potatoes” at my house?  The men who would rather bring a six pack over and watch football all day and then expect me to fix dinner?  Do I suddenly turn into just a “buddy” to them, the girl next door?

I see other women who, frankly, are not as attractive as I am or as thin as I am, who seem to get the “hot” men.  I don’t necessarily mean gorgeous men, but the men who take them to nice restaurants, bring them flowers, take them dancing and, basically, “court” them.  What secrets do they know that I don’t, because they certainly aren’t sharing them?”

Most women think a wonderful relationship is simply about finding the right man. The truth is that those women who have wonderful relationships didn’t necessarily know where to find good men, instead they attracted them. Would you like to learn how to attract and keep a wonderful man? The best way to find out probably isn’t by talking to a woman; instead, a man would be able to give you the secrets to a man’s heart.

I’d like to share with you the secrets that men find irresistible and powerless to resist. The dirty little secret is that having a perfect body isn’t nearly as important as you have been led to believe. You can discover this incredible information by simply clicking here.

Want a preview of “The Woman Men Adore”? Fill in the form on the right. You’ll get the download link in an email.

Did you know that three quarters of the time, the girl breaks up with the guy while only one in four break ups is initiated by a man.  Still, many girls lament about “the one who got away” even if they were the one sending the guy away in the first place.  You don’t have to give up on a relationship though, even if you were the one who called it off.

As I stated before, getting your ex boyfriend back after you dump him can be a challenge.  You have to have a plan.  Here’s my five step strategy.

Step 1: Give him a couple of days to deal with his emotions.  Guys are often clueless.  You probably had pretty good reasons for tossing him.  He probably never saw it coming.  So, if you want to get back together – but on your terms – let him stew for a couple of days.  Don’t even answer his calls or texts at first, even if it seems necessary for getting your ex boyfriend back.

Step 2: Let him make the first move.  After a couple of days, start to answer his phone calls or texts.  Don’t send back his love letters.  Instead, seem like you are receptive to his advances.

Step 3: Agree to a meeting.  After a week or so, agree to meet with him at a neutral place like a coffee house.  Let him apologize and try to make overtures.  But, don’t make any promises.  This is a critical step in the getting your ex boyfriend back program

Step 4: Agree to a date.  Go out on a date.  If possible, try to arrange it so that it is as romantic as possible.  Go back to the restaurant you went to on your first date or rent a video of the first movie you saw together.

Step 5: The final step in getting your ex boyfriend back after you have dumped him is to set your conditions for getting back together.  Remember, you have the upper hand at the moment.  He’s not taking you for granted.  Now is the time to set the conditions for getting back together.  If there are particular habits of his that you just can not stand, make him agree to give them up.  Let him know that he will have to treat you better in the future or else.  And mean the “or else” part.

Getting your ex boyfriend back after you have dumped him means disciplining yourself to stick to a program.  You obviously want him back or you wouldn’t be reading this article.  But, you also want him to change.  That’s the goal of this 5 step program.  When you follow it, you will be getting your ex boyfriend back on your own terms.

Looking for a complete guide to getting your ex boyfriend back? Get your Free ebook “Get Your Ex Back” today!

FREE Get Your Ex Back

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]]> http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/420/getting-your-ex-boyfriend-back-after-youve-dumped-him/feed/ 7 http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/414/having-fun-keeps-a-relationship-alive/ http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/414/having-fun-keeps-a-relationship-alive/#comments Wed, 30 Jun 2010 17:09:07 +0000 pattycakes http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/?p=414

Image by Leonard John Matthews via Flickr

We all know how to have fun, at least we used to.  For many adults we seem to have lost the ability to just let go and have some fun, along with some great, big belly laughs.  Unfortunately that lack of fun can have serious negative effects on us, our health, and our relationships. Put some fun back in your relationship. You might save your relationship…and your mind!

Having fun with your partner can be virtually anything that the two of you enjoy together. And if it makes you laugh out loud, that’s even better. You can go to an amusement park, check out the latest comedy at the local movie theater, stay home and play a energetic video game, whatever.  One word of caution though, when playing games together: don’t let your competitiveness become a problem.  This isn’t a competition between you and your partner, it’s a chance for the two of you to share an easy going, fun, time together.

If you are the type of person that is overly competitive (which is almost always a sign of being very insecure and you may want to get some counseling to help you feel better about yourself, so you don’t always have to ‘win’ . You’d be better off sticking to non- competitive fun things with your partner, forget the games for now.

When you really let go and act like a twit that can be a scary thing.  You might be afraid your partner will think you’re weird and make fun of you.  When you can share these times with your partner and you are both acting silly together, that actually builds trust between the two of you.   That is just another bond between the two of you and your relationship is one step to becoming stronger.

When you first started dating your partner, and falling in love, the two of you probably laughed and acted silly all the time.  But as we grow into our relationship, especially when we start living together and start sharing the responsibilities of a household, we seem to have fun with our partners less and less.

One thing you can do to determine how much fun is in your relationship,  is over the course of a week, keep a journal.  Mark down how many things you do with your partner that are pleasant, such as watching a movie together, talking, going for a walk, playing a game, and having sex, etc., versus how many non-fun things you do together such as taking out the trash, talking about your financial situations, talking about troubles at work, etc.

If this ratio of good times vs. bad times is like most relationships, it’s probably way out of balance.  Most couples will have many more of the mundane daily interactions than they will of the fun loving, building a bond interactions. The first step to changing it is to recognize it.

You can strengthen your bond with your partner by putting some fun back into your everyday lives.  It’s not a hard thing to do and you’ll both feel better about yourselves, about each other, and about your relationship…what could be better?

]]> http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/414/having-fun-keeps-a-relationship-alive/feed/ 2 http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/412/relationship-breakups-before-and-after-they-happen-and-how-to-cope/ http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/412/relationship-breakups-before-and-after-they-happen-and-how-to-cope/#comments Mon, 28 Jun 2010 16:53:47 +0000 pattycakes http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/?p=412 When it comes to relationship breakups before and after, there are two questions that need answering.  “Why?” and “What’s next?”

There is no doubt that dealing with relationship breakups before and after they happen, is a very traumatic and stressful time. It doesn’t matter whether you were ready for the relationship to end or not, when it comes to a relationship ending there is still the same trauma, still the same upset.

Now, if your relationship hasn’t actually ended yet, but it’s on the verge of ending, then make sure you do your best to go through the coming days, weeks and months with as little drama as you can possibly manage. One of the classic mistakes that many people make, when faced with an imminent breakup, is to cause drama and upset.  This is an understandable reaction, because they’re upset and devastated at the ending of a relationship that they put so much hope into. However, control is key, especially if you have any hopes of rekindling your relationship in the future. Causing ructus and drama at the onset of the breakup will not help you further down the line.

So in regards to relationship breakups before and after, even if you’re not ready for the relationship to end, agree to the breakup. Let your partner go and wish them well. Tell them that you’re sorry for any mistakes you have made and that you wish you could’ve done things differently, but you accept their decision to end the relationship.

Something else that you should consider in answer to the “Why?” question is this: even if you have no interest in trying to rekindle the relationship, it might still be worthwhile exploring why the relationship ended. Answering this question is really a positive step forward for you and for any future relationship that you may enter.

Look closely at your behavior throughout the relationship. Try and pinpoint moments and incidences where you felt you could’ve handled the situation better. Be as honest with yourself as possible. If you and your ex have parted on fairly good terms then why not ask your ex how they felt you handled yourself in the relationship. Not only will this give you some great insight into how others/your ex sees you, but again, it’s good food for thought for the future.

For some, when it comes to relationship breakups before and after, a wise move is to move on.  Let’s be honest, not all relationships are worth saving.  For a variety of reasons, some relationships are just better over and done with.  If you think your relationship falls into this category, then After the breakup give yourself as much time as you need to grieve the end of your relationship and then do just that, move on!

After the dust settles, you’ve decided rekindling the relationship is what you really want. If you’re serious about getting back together with your ex, you will need a game plan that really works. This ebook is one of the best there is so go get it now. After all, thousands of happy customers can’t be wrong!

]]> http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/412/relationship-breakups-before-and-after-they-happen-and-how-to-cope/feed/ 0 http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/410/relationship-break-up-advice-how-to-save-your-relationship-or-move-on/ http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/410/relationship-break-up-advice-how-to-save-your-relationship-or-move-on/#comments Mon, 28 Jun 2010 16:48:54 +0000 pattycakes http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/?p=410 Are you looking for relationship breakup advice?  Then you’re probably feeling as though this is one of the lowest points in your life. Now that may very well be true, but however badly you’re feeling right now, this feeling will pass!  You will get through this!

What you do now, depends on the outcome you’re looking for. If you’re ready for the relationship to be over and have no interest in trying to save the relationship, then then you will go one way. If on the other hand you’re looking for a way to save your relationship, then you will need a whole different set of tips and strategies to make this happen.

Relationship breakup advice for those who want to save their relationship is based on how you handle yourself in the run-up to the breakup and immediately after the breakup. If you are at the point in your relationship where your partner has just announced they want to end the relationship, then my advice to you is to agree to the breakup. Your biggest mistake would be to try and persuade your ex to stay in the relationship and not to leave you.

Agree to the breakup, let your ex go and wish them well. Your plan now is to get yourself together. Yes you’re devastated that the one you love has walked out, but you have to find a way to deal with that devastation and to deal with it in a way that will help you rekindle your relationship in the future.

So spend some time coming to terms with what has happened in the relationship. You need to do this on your own, without your ex. Make no attempt to contact your ex, instead find your friends and your family and let them help you through this upsetting time.

What you can also do is to make peace with yourself. We all make mistakes and depending on the level of your mistake, it is forgivable!  So don’t spend the next few weeks beating yourself up.  When it comes to contacting your ex in a few weeks, you need to be emotionally sound and appealing to pull off the reconciliation.

If you have no interest in rekindling the relationship, then the relationship breakup advice you’re looking for is about finding strategies about how to cope with the trauma.  You need to be able to move on with your life, so above all, give yourself time.  Treat the ending of the relationship almost like a death.

It really doesn’t matter whether you wanted the relationship to end or not. The point is it has ended and there was a time when you had real hopes for the relationship.  Acknowledge that and acknowledge your disappointment that it has ended and you’ll come through this in time.

]]> http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/410/relationship-break-up-advice-how-to-save-your-relationship-or-move-on/feed/ 1 http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/405/emotional-infidelity-is-there-really-such-a-thing/ http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/405/emotional-infidelity-is-there-really-such-a-thing/#comments Sun, 27 Jun 2010 16:42:24 +0000 pattycakes http://datingsecrets309.com/blog/?p=405 Are you wondering about emotional infidelity, what it is and is it ok if you’re in a relationship?  Well you’re not alone. Many people think about infidelity only on one level: the physical.  In fact it’s true to say, that many people don’t even believe there’s such a thing as emotional infidelity. Well they’re wrong!

First of all let’s define “emotional infidelity!”  This classically occurs when someone in a committed relationship/marriage forms an emotional attachment with a third person outside of the relationship.  This may seem trivial to begin with but it can escalate and become something else – in short, become physical.

So, if you’ve formed a friendship that you cannot tell your spouse/partner about then you should seriously ask yourself why?  To be perfectly honest, you should not have a relationship/friendship with anyone that you cannot openly and honestly discuss with your partner. The minute your partner is shut out of any part of your life there is a potential for distance. With distance comes real and potential problems to your relationship.

This is not to say that you have to tell your spouse/partner about every single part of your day. The distinction here is that if you are deliberately hiding a friendship with a third person, and hiding the nature of that friendship, from your spouse/partner!

What you should also consider, when it comes to emotional infidelity, is how your partner would feel if they ever found out?  Perhaps you are sharing intimate details of your life with your partner with your secret friend? How would your partner feel about that?  Knowing that any problems the two of you are having are being openly discussed by you with someone outside of your relationship?  Not only that, someone who could quickly become a destructive element within your relationship?

Emotional infidelity, might seem like a little bit of harmless fun when you first set out but it can quickly and dangerously escalate into something that can seriously threaten your relationship. You will find that your partner will have picked up on the fact that you’re even more distant than usual and this is because you are sharing with someone else and pretty soon you’re thinking about that someone else more and more.

Once this happens it can often be a short step towards a full on physical relationship and that’s why any emotional attachment that your partner does not know about it so dangerous.

If there is a problem in your relationship then it is best sorted out between you and your partner and if need be with professional outside help, or perhaps even with trusted friends.

Make no mistake, emotional infidelity is as dangerous as physical infidelity.

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