When working at surviving a break up, don’t depend on your ex to help you get through the breakup.  That means that you will have to stop all contact with your ex and not rely on them for the late night chats or for help to move that huge piece of furniture from one side of the room to the next.  Whatever space your ex filled in your life, you’re going to have to to fill that space with someone or something else.

Surviving a break up means that you have to look forward and not constantly look back.  Of course if your relationship was long-term and you were in love, then you are not going to simply get over the end of that relationship over night. It will take you time to come to terms with what has happened.  You will need to reflect and process the relationship. However, a huge mistake would be if you spent all your spare time thinking about nothing but ‘when you and your ex did this, or when you and your ex did that!’

Get ready to get out and meet some new people. Meeting new people can be a great buzz.  It can help you to see that there is life out there, beyond your ex, and you can be a part of that life. So get out of your dirty sweats and go and talk to some new people.

When you’re surviving a break up, it is very easy to find that you have not been looking after yourself physically.  It could be that you find that you’re eating nothing but junk food and you might even be drinking too much.  Remember, alcohol is a depressant and though it might make you feel much more able to cope with what you are going through in regard to your breakup, come the next morning it will only make you feel low and depressed.

Instead, concentrate on eating well and adding some exercise to your life.  Take one day at a time and before you know it, you will have got through a month and then many months and you will have survived your break up!

by Bob Grant, L.P.C. author of “The Woman Men Adore”

Every day in my counseling office, I hear women say some variation of this:

“In the last few years, I have had relationships with men who, at first, seemed perfect for me.  They were attentive, attractive and fun to be around.  Then suddenly, as if they knew they had reeled me in, they stopped trying.  They stopped calling as much, stopped taking me out and basically stopped the romantic dance that couples do when they are falling in love.  Was it me?  After all, I think I’m attractive, have a good personality and I work out to keep my body in nice shape.  So why then, do I always end up with the men who become “couch potatoes” at my house?  The men who would rather bring a six pack over and watch football all day and then expect me to fix dinner?  Do I suddenly turn into just a “buddy” to them, the girl next door?

I see other women who, frankly, are not as attractive as I am or as thin as I am, who seem to get the “hot” men.  I don’t necessarily mean gorgeous men, but the men who take them to nice restaurants, bring them flowers, take them dancing and, basically, “court” them.  What secrets do they know that I don’t, because they certainly aren’t sharing them?”

Most women think a wonderful relationship is simply about finding the right man. The truth is that those women who have wonderful relationships didn’t necessarily know where to find good men, instead they attracted them. Would you like to learn how to attract and keep a wonderful man? The best way to find out probably isn’t by talking to a woman; instead, a man would be able to give you the secrets to a man’s heart.

I’d like to share with you the secrets that men find irresistible and powerless to resist. The dirty little secret is that having a perfect body isn’t nearly as important as you have been led to believe. You can discover this incredible information by simply clicking here.

Want a preview of “The Woman Men Adore”? Fill in the form on the right. You’ll get the download link in an email.

Did you know that three quarters of the time, the girl breaks up with the guy while only one in four break ups is initiated by a man.  Still, many girls lament about “the one who got away” even if they were the one sending the guy away in the first place.  You don’t have to give up on a relationship though, even if you were the one who called it off.

As I stated before, getting your ex boyfriend back after you dump him can be a challenge.  You have to have a plan.  Here’s my five step strategy.

Step 1: Give him a couple of days to deal with his emotions.  Guys are often clueless.  You probably had pretty good reasons for tossing him.  He probably never saw it coming.  So, if you want to get back together – but on your terms – let him stew for a couple of days.  Don’t even answer his calls or texts at first, even if it seems necessary for getting your ex boyfriend back.

Step 2: Let him make the first move.  After a couple of days, start to answer his phone calls or texts.  Don’t send back his love letters.  Instead, seem like you are receptive to his advances.

Step 3: Agree to a meeting.  After a week or so, agree to meet with him at a neutral place like a coffee house.  Let him apologize and try to make overtures.  But, don’t make any promises.  This is a critical step in the getting your ex boyfriend back program

Step 4: Agree to a date.  Go out on a date.  If possible, try to arrange it so that it is as romantic as possible.  Go back to the restaurant you went to on your first date or rent a video of the first movie you saw together.

Step 5: The final step in getting your ex boyfriend back after you have dumped him is to set your conditions for getting back together.  Remember, you have the upper hand at the moment.  He’s not taking you for granted.  Now is the time to set the conditions for getting back together.  If there are particular habits of his that you just can not stand, make him agree to give them up.  Let him know that he will have to treat you better in the future or else.  And mean the “or else” part.

Getting your ex boyfriend back after you have dumped him means disciplining yourself to stick to a program.  You obviously want him back or you wouldn’t be reading this article.  But, you also want him to change.  That’s the goal of this 5 step program.  When you follow it, you will be getting your ex boyfriend back on your own terms.

Looking for a complete guide to getting your ex boyfriend back? Click Here!

We all know how to have fun, at least we used to.  For many adults we seem to have lost the ability to just let go and have some fun, along with some great, big belly laughs.  Unfortunately that lack of fun can have serious negative effects on us, our health, and our relationships. Put some fun back in your relationship. You might save your relationship…and your mind!

Having fun with your partner can be virtually anything that the two of you enjoy together. And if it makes you laugh out loud, that’s even better. You can go to an amusement park, check out the latest comedy at the local movie theater, stay home and play a energetic video game, whatever.  One word of caution though, when playing games together: don’t let your competitiveness become a problem.  This isn’t a competition between you and your partner, it’s a chance for the two of you to share an easy going, fun, time together.

If you are the type of person that is overly competitive (which is almost always a sign of being very insecure and you may want to get some counseling to help you feel better about yourself, so you don’t always have to ‘win’ . You’d be better off sticking to non- competitive fun things with your partner, forget the games for now.

When you really let go and act like a twit that can be a scary thing.  You might be afraid your partner will think you’re weird and make fun of you.  When you can share these times with your partner and you are both acting silly together, that actually builds trust between the two of you.   That is just another bond between the two of you and your relationship is one step to becoming stronger.

When you first started dating your partner, and falling in love, the two of you probably laughed and acted silly all the time.  But as we grow into our relationship, especially when we start living together and start sharing the responsibilities of a household, we seem to have fun with our partners less and less.

One thing you can do to determine how much fun is in your relationship,  is over the course of a week, keep a journal.  Mark down how many things you do with your partner that are pleasant, such as watching a movie together, talking, going for a walk, playing a game, and having sex, etc., versus how many non-fun things you do together such as taking out the trash, talking about your financial situations, talking about troubles at work, etc.

If this ratio of good times vs. bad times is like most relationships, it’s probably way out of balance.  Most couples will have many more of the mundane daily interactions than they will of the fun loving, building a bond interactions. The first step to changing it is to recognize it.

You can strengthen your bond with your partner by putting some fun back into your everyday lives.  It’s not a hard thing to do and you’ll both feel better about yourselves, about each other, and about your relationship…what could be better?

There is no doubt that dealing with relationship breakups before and after they happen, is a very traumatic and stressful time. It doesn’t matter whether you were ready for the relationship to end or not, when it comes to a relationship ending there is still the same trauma, still the same upset.

Now, if your relationship hasn’t actually ended yet, but it’s on the verge of ending, then make sure you do your best to go through the coming days, weeks and months with as little drama as you can possibly manage. One of the classic mistakes that many people make, when faced with an imminent breakup, is to cause drama and upset.  This is an understandable reaction, because they’re upset and devastated at the ending of a relationship that they put so much hope into. However, control is key, especially if you have any hopes of rekindling your relationship in the future. Causing ructus and drama at the onset of the breakup will not help you further down the line.

So in regards to relationship breakups before and after, even if you’re not ready for the relationship to end, agree to the breakup. Let your partner go and wish them well. Tell them that you’re sorry for any mistakes you have made and that you wish you could’ve done things differently, but you accept their decision to end the relationship.

Something else that you should consider in answer to the “Why?” question is this: even if you have no interest in trying to rekindle the relationship, it might still be worthwhile exploring why the relationship ended. Answering this question is really a positive step forward for you and for any future relationship that you may enter.

Look closely at your behavior throughout the relationship. Try and pinpoint moments and incidences where you felt you could’ve handled the situation better. Be as honest with yourself as possible. If you and your ex have parted on fairly good terms then why not ask your ex how they felt you handled yourself in the relationship. Not only will this give you some great insight into how others/your ex sees you, but again, it’s good food for thought for the future.

For some, when it comes to relationship breakups before and after, a wise move is to move on.  Let’s be honest, not all relationships are worth saving.  For a variety of reasons, some relationships are just better over and done with.  If you think your relationship falls into this category, then After the breakup give yourself as much time as you need to grieve the end of your relationship and then do just that, move on!

What you do now, depends on the outcome you’re looking for. If you’re ready for the relationship to be over and have no interest in trying to save the relationship, then then you will go one way. If on the other hand you’re looking for a way to save your relationship, then you will need a whole different set of tips and strategies to make this happen.

Relationship breakup advice for those who want to save their relationship is based on how you handle yourself in the run-up to the breakup and immediately after the breakup. If you are at the point in your relationship where your partner has just announced they want to end the relationship, then my advice to you is to agree to the breakup. Your biggest mistake would be to try and persuade your ex to stay in the relationship and not to leave you.

Agree to the breakup, let your ex go and wish them well. Your plan now is to get yourself together. Yes you’re devastated that the one you love has walked out, but you have to find a way to deal with that devastation and to deal with it in a way that will help you rekindle your relationship in the future.

So spend some time coming to terms with what has happened in the relationship. You need to do this on your own, without your ex. Make no attempt to contact your ex, instead find your friends and your family and let them help you through this upsetting time.

What you can also do is to make peace with yourself. We all make mistakes and depending on the level of your mistake, it is forgivable!  So don’t spend the next few weeks beating yourself up.  When it comes to contacting your ex in a few weeks, you need to be emotionally sound and appealing to pull off the reconciliation.

If you have no interest in rekindling the relationship, then the relationship breakup advice you’re looking for is about finding strategies about how to cope with the trauma.  You need to be able to move on with your life, so above all, give yourself time.  Treat the ending of the relationship almost like a death.

It really doesn’t matter whether you wanted the relationship to end or not. The point is it has ended and there was a time when you had real hopes for the relationship.  Acknowledge that and acknowledge your disappointment that it has ended and you’ll come through this in time.

First of all let’s define “emotional infidelity!”  This classically occurs when someone in a committed relationship/marriage forms an emotional attachment with a third person outside of the relationship.  This may seem trivial to begin with but it can escalate and become something else – in short, become physical.

So, if you’ve formed a friendship that you cannot tell your spouse/partner about then you should seriously ask yourself why?  To be perfectly honest, you should not have a relationship/friendship with anyone that you cannot openly and honestly discuss with your partner. The minute your partner is shut out of any part of your life there is a potential for distance. With distance comes real and potential problems to your relationship.

This is not to say that you have to tell your spouse/partner about every single part of your day. The distinction here is that if you are deliberately hiding a friendship with a third person, and hiding the nature of that friendship, from your spouse/partner!

What you should also consider, when it comes to emotional infidelity, is how your partner would feel if they ever found out?  Perhaps you are sharing intimate details of your life with your partner with your secret friend? How would your partner feel about that?  Knowing that any problems the two of you are having are being openly discussed by you with someone outside of your relationship?  Not only that, someone who could quickly become a destructive element within your relationship?

Emotional infidelity, might seem like a little bit of harmless fun when you first set out but it can quickly and dangerously escalate into something that can seriously threaten your relationship. You will find that your partner will have picked up on the fact that you’re even more distant than usual and this is because you are sharing with someone else and pretty soon you’re thinking about that someone else more and more.

Once this happens it can often be a short step towards a full on physical relationship and that’s why any emotional attachment that your partner does not know about it so dangerous.

If there is a problem in your relationship then it is best sorted out between you and your partner and if need be with professional outside help, or perhaps even with trusted friends.

Make no mistake, emotional infidelity is as dangerous as physical infidelity.

One word of caution though: while this list focuses on how you can treat your partner, it’s also vitally important that your partner does the same things for you.  I’m not encouraging a one sided relationship. Those never work, or at least they don’t work from the standpoint that one partner isn’t getting their needs met so the relationship isn’t a healthy one.

In a strong healthy relationship both partners should be getting the majority of their needs met.  They should feel love, respect, friendship, understanding, and desire coming from their partner.  They should be giving those same things back too.

So before you plow into the list, I want you to take some time to evaluate who you are as a person.  Make sure that you are able to give and take equally.  This is so important because in most relationships one person is the primary giver and one person is the primary taker.  That is not good.  Ideally both parties should be fairly close to a 50/50 split between what they give and what they take.  That’s what I want you to strive for.

Don’t be the one who does all the giving, or most of it.  And don’t be the one who does all the taking, or most of it.  Try to balance yourself and encourage your partner to do the same.

OK, now on to the list:

1. Ultimately we all want to feel like our partner actually likes us.  So make sure you take time to have fun with your partner.  Share your day with them.  Tell them the good things, and the bad things.  Have some laughs together.

2. Help build your partner up.  You don’t have to lie…if they ask you if they’ve gained weight, and they have, you don’t have to say ‘no’ but you could say that they look good to you.  (by the way, never ask a loaded, stupid, question like ‘do I look fat in this”? No good can ever come of it!)

3. Too many relationships lose physical intimacy, and I don’t just mean sex.  When you and your partner were dating you most likely held hands, rubbed each other’s hands or backs, basically you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.  You just had to be close and touching as much as possible.  Don’t let that slip away.  Never underestimate the power of a gentle touch and other physical contact.

And while sex is important, don’t let all your physical contact become only sexual in nature.  You should always enjoy touching your partners cheek or sneaking up behind them and putting your arms around them for a hug.

I know that if you use some of the ideas I’ve given, you can be one step closer to maintaining a strong loving relationship with your partner.  Just try to maintain some of the wonder, and love you had for your partner when you first met.  By doing that you have a much better chance of keeping your relationship strong and happy your whole life.

Here are some tips to help you move on.

1)  Still in contact with your ex?  Then the the truth is, to understand how to get over someone you love starts by you breaking all contact with them. There is no point in still talking to your ex on the phone or seeing them socially if you’re trying to get over them and you’re still in love with them. All you’re doing is making the pain you’re in last longer and go deep. So break contact.

2)  Get out and about and meet new people. The last thing that you want to do is to spend your days and nights sitting home alone, brooding and thinking about your ex. If you’re out and about with friends then you can distract yourself and occupy your mind with other things. Yes you probably still have to go home alone, but it means you’re not spending hours on your own when you’re at your most vulnerable.

3)  Be good to yourself. No doubt mistakes were made by both you and your ex, so don’t spend your time blaming yourself for what you did wrong. That’s not to say you shouldn’t accept responsibility for your own mistakes, but learn from what has happened and take what you have learnt into the future.

Understanding how to get over someone you love depends on you coming to terms with where your life now is.  If you’re not happy with yourself, then you will have a hard time leaving your past relationship behind you.

Think about the direction you want your life to go in.  Are you headed the right way or are you stuck or moving in the exact opposite direction?

Do you need to make a different career choice to fulfill your goals?  Is there more studying to be done?  Perhaps you need a different group of friends to socialize with?  Maybe dropping some pounds and getting fit is what you need?  Whatever new path you need to take to move you forward in life, then you need to do it because a move like this is often the answer to the question “how to get over someone you love!”

What’s also worth remembering and will help you, is to accept that just because you love someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be with them.  If that person is not right for you then moving on, for yourself, is the best thing you can do.

If you are in a relationship – be it a boyfriend and girlfriend type or a marriage – you need to learn how to save a relationship before it becomes irretrievably lost. These tips show you how you can keep the love alive and enjoy each other’s company even after several years have already passed.

First of all, you need to rediscover each other. After a long time together, everything in your relationship becomes a routine.  You feel you “have” to do this and that. When you get used to each other, you fail to realize that there are still a number of areas in your lives that you have not truly explored. This is especially true for married couples. The demands of life including the bills that must be paid and even the burden of raising your children may become walls that keep you from enjoying your spouse’s company.

If you want to know how to save a relationship, you need to figure out if you have fallen into a routine.  Often when the routine becomes too boring, one of the members of the couple tries to recapture their old romantic feelings by starting an affair.  If you are thinking about doing this, take a time out.  Ask yourself whether potentially losing your relationship is worth experiencing the feeling of being “in love” again.  Think about ways that you can redevelop that feeling with your current husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend rather than looking outside the relationship bonds.

Some suggestions for rekindling the flames are to:

·    Have dates at the old places where you used to go
·    Get dressed up and go to a romantic restaurant
·    Walk along the beach at sunset
·    Have a picnic at the park.

If none of these suggestions work, there is another thing you can do to save your relationship.

You should start to have “adventures” with each other.  Step outside of your relative comfort zones.  When you start doing things you’ve never done before together, the bond between you becomes stronger.  You start to lean on each other for support through the adventure and thus you begin to lean on each other in all aspects of life.  You begin to see each other in a new light.  You’ll probably find that you’ve missed the other person more as a result as well.

If the relationship is worth preserving, you need to be creative about the experiences you share.  Turn an ordinary night of watching television into an extraordinary one by breaking out the Champagne.  Write sexy messages on the bathroom mirror in lipstick.  Write a love letter and place it in a bottle.

Make the ordinary extraordinary and you will spice up the relationship again.  In this way you will learn how to save a relationship.