How To Survive A Break Up

When you breakup with someone that you either love or once loved, it is always going to be a difficult and painful time.  Surviving a break up is something that virtually everyone has to go  through at some point in their lives.  So, if this is your first time trying to cope with a break up, then here are some useful tips that will help you to move forward and end your heartache sooner rather than later.

When working at surviving a break up, don’t depend on your ex to help you get through the breakup.  That means that you will have to stop all contact with your ex and not rely on them for the late night chats or for help to move that huge piece of furniture from one side of the room to the next.  Whatever space your ex filled in your life, you’re going to have to to fill that space with someone or something else.

Surviving a break up means that you have to look forward and not constantly look back.  Of course if your relationship was long-term and you were in love, then you are not going to simply get over the end of that relationship over night. It will take you time to come to terms with what has happened.  You will need to reflect and process the relationship. However, a huge mistake would be if you spent all your spare time thinking about nothing but ‘when you and your ex did this, or when you and your ex did that!’

Get ready to get out and meet some new people. Meeting new people can be a great buzz.  It can help you to see that there is life out there, beyond your ex, and you can be a part of that life. So get out of your dirty sweats and go and talk to some new people.

When you’re surviving a break up, it is very easy to find that you have not been looking after yourself physically.  It could be that you find that you’re eating nothing but junk food and you might even be drinking too much.  Remember, alcohol is a depressant and though it might make you feel much more able to cope with what you are going through in regard to your breakup, come the next morning it will only make you feel low and depressed.

Instead, concentrate on eating well and adding some exercise to your life.  Take one day at a time and before you know it, you will have got through a month and then many months and you will have survived your break up!

What Some Women Know About Men That You Don’t

When it Comes to Men, Some Women Have It…and You Can Too!

by Bob Grant, L.P.C. author of “The Woman Men Adore”

Every day in my counseling office, I hear women say some variation of this:

“In the last few years, I have had relationships with men who, at first, seemed perfect for me.  They were attentive, attractive and fun to be around.  Then suddenly, as if they knew they had reeled me in, they stopped trying.  They stopped calling as much, stopped taking me out and basically stopped the romantic dance that couples do when they are falling in love.  Was it me?  After all, I think I’m attractive, have a good personality and I work out to keep my body in nice shape.  So why then, do I always end up with the men who become “couch potatoes” at my house?  The men who would rather bring a six pack over and watch football all day and then expect me to fix dinner?  Do I suddenly turn into just a “buddy” to them, the girl next door?

I see other women who, frankly, are not as attractive as I am or as thin as I am, who seem to get the “hot” men.  I don’t necessarily mean gorgeous men, but the men who take them to nice restaurants, bring them flowers, take them dancing and, basically, “court” them.  What secrets do they know that I don’t, because they certainly aren’t sharing them?”

Most women think a wonderful relationship is simply about finding the right man. The truth is that those women who have wonderful relationships didn’t necessarily know where to find good men, instead they attracted them. Would you like to learn how to attract and keep a wonderful man? The best way to find out probably isn’t by talking to a woman; instead, a man would be able to give you the secrets to a man’s heart.

I’d like to share with you the secrets that men find irresistible and powerless to resist. The dirty little secret is that having a perfect body isn’t nearly as important as you have been led to believe. You can discover this incredible information by simply clicking here.

Want a preview of “The Woman Men Adore”? Fill in the form on the right. You’ll get the download link in an email.

Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back After You’ve Dumped Him

Getting your ex boyfriend back after you have dumped him is challenging.  You may have broken up in a fit of pique.  You may not have even meant it.  But, his heart has been broken and getting your ex boyfriend back can be a challenge.

Did you know that three quarters of the time, the girl breaks up with the guy while only one in four break ups is initiated by a man.  Still, many girls lament about “the one who got away” even if they were the one sending the guy away in the first place.  You don’t have to give up on a relationship though, even if you were the one who called it off.

As I stated before, getting your ex boyfriend back after you dump him can be a challenge.  You have to have a plan.  Here’s my five step strategy.

Step 1: Give him a couple of days to deal with his emotions.  Guys are often clueless.  You probably had pretty good reasons for tossing him.  He probably never saw it coming.  So, if you want to get back together – but on your terms – let him stew for a couple of days.  Don’t even answer his calls or texts at first, even if it seems necessary for getting your ex boyfriend back.

Step 2: Let him make the first move.  After a couple of days, start to answer his phone calls or texts.  Don’t send back his love letters.  Instead, seem like you are receptive to his advances.

Step 3: Agree to a meeting.  After a week or so, agree to meet with him at a neutral place like a coffee house.  Let him apologize and try to make overtures.  But, don’t make any promises.  This is a critical step in the getting your ex boyfriend back program

Step 4: Agree to a date.  Go out on a date.  If possible, try to arrange it so that it is as romantic as possible.  Go back to the restaurant you went to on your first date or rent a video of the first movie you saw together.

Step 5: The final step in getting your ex boyfriend back after you have dumped him is to set your conditions for getting back together.  Remember, you have the upper hand at the moment.  He’s not taking you for granted.  Now is the time to set the conditions for getting back together.  If there are particular habits of his that you just can not stand, make him agree to give them up.  Let him know that he will have to treat you better in the future or else.  And mean the “or else” part.

Getting your ex boyfriend back after you have dumped him means disciplining yourself to stick to a program.  You obviously want him back or you wouldn’t be reading this article.  But, you also want him to change.  That’s the goal of this 5 step program.  When you follow it, you will be getting your ex boyfriend back on your own terms.

Looking for a complete guide to getting your ex boyfriend back? Click Here!

Having Fun Keeps A Relationship Alive

We all know how to have fun, at least we used to.  For many adults we seem to have lost the ability to just let go and have some fun, along with some great, big belly laughs.  Unfortunately that lack of fun can have serious negative effects on us, our health, and our relationships. Put some fun back in your relationship. You might save your relationship…and your mind!

Having fun with your partner can be virtually anything that the two of you enjoy together. And if it makes you laugh out loud, that’s even better. You can go to an amusement park, check out the latest comedy at the local movie theater, stay home and play a energetic video game, whatever.  One word of caution though, when playing games together: don’t let your competitiveness become a problem.  This isn’t a competition between you and your partner, it’s a chance for the two of you to share an easy going, fun, time together.

If you are the type of person that is overly competitive (which is almost always a sign of being very insecure and you may want to get some counseling to help you feel better about yourself, so you don’t always have to ‘win’ . You’d be better off sticking to non- competitive fun things with your partner, forget the games for now.

When you really let go and act like a twit that can be a scary thing.  You might be afraid your partner will think you’re weird and make fun of you.  When you can share these times with your partner and you are both acting silly together, that actually builds trust between the two of you.   That is just another bond between the two of you and your relationship is one step to becoming stronger.

When you first started dating your partner, and falling in love, the two of you probably laughed and acted silly all the time.  But as we grow into our relationship, especially when we start living together and start sharing the responsibilities of a household, we seem to have fun with our partners less and less.

One thing you can do to determine how much fun is in your relationship,  is over the course of a week, keep a journal.  Mark down how many things you do with your partner that are pleasant, such as watching a movie together, talking, going for a walk, playing a game, and having sex, etc., versus how many non-fun things you do together such as taking out the trash, talking about your financial situations, talking about troubles at work, etc.

If this ratio of good times vs. bad times is like most relationships, it’s probably way out of balance.  Most couples will have many more of the mundane daily interactions than they will of the fun loving, building a bond interactions. The first step to changing it is to recognize it.

You can strengthen your bond with your partner by putting some fun back into your everyday lives.  It’s not a hard thing to do and you’ll both feel better about yourselves, about each other, and about your relationship…what could be better?

Relationship Breakups Before And After They Happen And How To Cope

When it comes to relationship breakups before and after, there are two questions that need answering.  “Why?” and “What’s next?”

There is no doubt that dealing with relationship breakups before and after they happen, is a very traumatic and stressful time. It doesn’t matter whether you were ready for the relationship to end or not, when it comes to a relationship ending there is still the same trauma, still the same upset.

Now, if your relationship hasn’t actually ended yet, but it’s on the verge of ending, then make sure you do your best to go through the coming days, weeks and months with as little drama as you can possibly manage. One of the classic mistakes that many people make, when faced with an imminent breakup, is to cause drama and upset.  This is an understandable reaction, because they’re upset and devastated at the ending of a relationship that they put so much hope into. However, control is key, especially if you have any hopes of rekindling your relationship in the future. Causing ructus and drama at the onset of the breakup will not help you further down the line.

So in regards to relationship breakups before and after, even if you’re not ready for the relationship to end, agree to the breakup. Let your partner go and wish them well. Tell them that you’re sorry for any mistakes you have made and that you wish you could’ve done things differently, but you accept their decision to end the relationship.

Something else that you should consider in answer to the “Why?” question is this: even if you have no interest in trying to rekindle the relationship, it might still be worthwhile exploring why the relationship ended. Answering this question is really a positive step forward for you and for any future relationship that you may enter.

Look closely at your behavior throughout the relationship. Try and pinpoint moments and incidences where you felt you could’ve handled the situation better. Be as honest with yourself as possible. If you and your ex have parted on fairly good terms then why not ask your ex how they felt you handled yourself in the relationship. Not only will this give you some great insight into how others/your ex sees you, but again, it’s good food for thought for the future.

For some, when it comes to relationship breakups before and after, a wise move is to move on.  Let’s be honest, not all relationships are worth saving.  For a variety of reasons, some relationships are just better over and done with.  If you think your relationship falls into this category, then After the breakup give yourself as much time as you need to grieve the end of your relationship and then do just that, move on!

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