Meeting Safely

August 16, 2009 by pattycakes  
Filed under Online Dating

When you are able to hold different conversations with someone online, you may both decide that meeting in real life would be good. A lot of date options are available to help break the ice. However it is important to remember that you must put your safety first. Both people but especially females should be exceptionally careful when they are meeting strangers. No matter how long you have spoken online, you have to remember that it is still someone that you do not know well enough to trust in certain situations. Use common sense when you are meeting someone in person for the first time ever.

First, you should suggest that the date take place in a very public area. Restaurants are a great place to start and give you a chance to talk to more than a movie date will. You can also suggest that you go to other public places as long as they are not too secluded. Concerts work well for example but walks in the park are not recommended since there are often wooded areas in which your date and you will be alone.

You should also suggest a date that will occur during the daytime rather than at night. You will be able to see one another much better and it is less dangerous and less likely that a predator could victimize you in the daytime since there are other people around. In either case, always find a good common meeting ground for your date. It is dangerous to get into a car with someone that you have not met. Remember that it is easy to lie online. It is easy to continue to lie in person as well. You have to get to know the person as well as his or her friends, family and co-workers so that you can learn to have trust in each other.

You should also try a group date. Invite one or two of your friends and have your date do the same. You can then go to a number of places such as an amusement park or a shopping mall. Your friends will then carefully monitor the situation so that you are sure to be safe. There is always safety in numbers. If you are not taking your friends, you should tell someone where you are going and when you should be back. Always carry a cell phone to be sure.

When you are feeling more comfortable with a person you can move on to more secluded dates. However remember to keep your guard up at all times until you know the person in real life as well as online. Many people will become victims of rape, kidnap, and even murder all the time and a number of situat8ions stem from predators meeting their victims online. Use good common sense when you are meeting someone for the first time so that you are not another statistic to read about.

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Know the Facts of Online Dating

August 14, 2009 by pattycakes  
Filed under Online Dating


Copyright Infringement Not Intended. This video is for entertainment purposes only.

Online dating is getting very popular and if you would like to join this world, there are a few things that you should keep in mind.  As with the other aspects of life, you will have more success if you follow the rules of the game and treat other people with respect. Some people may not realize these rules but in the end it will mean the difference between you getting the date and continuing to be single.

If you find an attractive picture online, it is ok to tell the person that you think they are nice looking.  However looks are not everything.  If that is all that you have to say online, then it is going to be better not to say anything at all. Read the person’s profile so that you can say something more than just a comment about their looks.

You can read their profile.  Always look at a person’s “My perfect date” section to see what he or she is going to be interested in. Most people are looking for others within a certain age range and distance from home.  They might also have preferences about children, smoking, religion, looks, race, and sexual preferences. If you are 33 and someone online is looking for a date between 20 and 28, he or she is not looking for you so you need to move on.

Do not send an initial email if you did not read the profile. Ask general questions like “How are you?” and “ What can you tell me about yourself?” can be annoying. Be more specific and ask the other person questions that can be answered in an email back to you and your questions will show her your personal interests.

The most important thing is if the other person is not interested, move on. Sometimes people will not answer your messages on purpose.  Online is the acceptable way of showing that you have no interest.  Do not repeatedly send messages that ask a person if they got your previous message.  They got them and they are simply not interested.  If someone writes you back and indicated that there is no chemistry for him or her, let the issue go.

There are millions of other profiles for you to pursue and someone is going to reply.  Writing back to that person and telling them that they are close-minded, mean, or something unpleasant is not going to help and it is against the rules of the websites.  Use your common sense and do not do or say anything that you would never do or say in real life.  Online dating can be more fun for everyone if you follow the rules of etiquette .

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Get Them Excited On The First Date

August 13, 2009 by pattycakes  
Filed under Online Dating

When you have been talking to someone online for a time you both may decide to take the next step with a real life date.  Online dating can be very beneficial but without a good connection in real life, you cannot move onto something more with long lasting potential.  Many people are concerned about moving from online dating to dating in real life.  It can be very dangerous.  Online daters also need to worry about the other person not being honest about them.  The best thing that you can do is to simply give it a shot.  In the dating world, you will experience many failures but it is possible to have a good and true relationship if you try hard.  The first date with an online friend can be nerve racking so you have to be sure to get the other person excited about meeting you.

First it is a good idea to plan a first date that will take place in a public place. It is easy to lie online and you do not want to find yourself to be a victim of an online predator.  To be safe, you need to suggest meeting at the place of the date instead of getting into a vehicle with someone you do not know.  Plan a date for the daytime and it is usually a good idea to have very little alcohol involved.  If you are still not sure about meeting for security reasons, you should suggest a group date where each of you brings a few different friends.

There are a number of good date ideas that you can use for your first date.  You should always have a meal at a good restaurant or go to the movies.  However when you are eating or watching a film it is difficult to get to now another person.  You can suggest a date based on common interests that attracted you to the other person in the first place.  For example if you both enjoy sports, you can go to a baseball game or playing golf.  If you like the outdoor adventures you can plan a first date at a rock-climbing place.  For more quiet dates, you can meet at a coffee house or listen to a soft music concert.

The most important thing to remember about a date is to make sure that each person is comfortable.  If you are both having a bad time and it is obvious, it is not inappropriate to suggest leaving early.  However if you both are having a great time, you may want to extend the date to another activity after the first date has ended.  Leave the first date open because not every person will have a connection with you.  You need to be prepared for both success and failure.

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Free vs Paid Online Dating Services

July 13, 2009 by pattycakes  
Filed under Online Dating

Why would you pay to use the online dating website if you can get it somewhere else for free? There is a simple answer to this and it is that you do not receive the same services for free and it is not likely that you will. Just as you need to commit yourself to a relationship before you get the “free milk,” you also need to commit yourself to paying for a service in order to get every possible benefit that online dating has to offer. Before you pay anything, you need to be sure that the website is what you really want in online dating.

The free online services have many advantages and the most important is that they require no out of pocket expenses. However because they are free and anyone can use the services, children may also be exposed. When you have to pay for online dating services it cuts out everyone that is not serious bout finding someone to have a relationship with online. It is also a way to make sure that you are speaking to someone that is at least 18 years old. You need to have a credit card to be able to pay for the online service. However there will still be ways that kids can get around this, but why put out an effort if they have free options to choose from?

The online dating services that charge you a subscription fee can also be a scam. However it is important to know what you are paying for and you need to read the terms and conditions very carefully so that your credit card is not charged very high fees. The Better Business Bureau can help to alert you to websites that may be a scam and steal credit card numbers. You have to be sure that you are paying for a service that is well known and safe.

You should also be aware of how to cancel services. These online dating websites will usually renew subscriptions on a certain day of the month, and it can be difficult to find on their website how to cancel your subscription. You have to be sure that you understand this before you sign up for it.

Online dating websites are a good benefit no matter if you pay for them or not. It is certain that you should use the kind of site that fits your best personal needs. The more serious daters should have a better chance at finding what they want on a site that that has fesses due. The mild is not even usually free for anyone.

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Background Checks

July 8, 2009 by pattycakes  
Filed under Online Dating

The big controversy now in online dating is the background check dilemma. Many of the states are beginning to suggest legislation that would require online dating websites to perform background checks on its members or state if they do not. This is creating quite a stir in the online dating world and with members both for and against the online date background checking rules.

The complete controversy began when the online dating scene was still fresh. This happened with a website that signed an exclusive contract with the Internet’s largest background checking service so that members could be sure that they were not conversing with the criminals. This at first may seem like a good idea since it will protect online daters from sharing personal information with people that have been known for sexual offenders or have committed fraud or other types of criminal acts. However this website than began pushing legislation that would require online dating websites to perform background checks.

This website has an exclusive contract and they would then force other websites to use more expensive background checking tools, and so the subscription fees would be more expensive. This would be controversial and also created a lot of free advertising for the initial background checking website. To say the least, it was a way to rise above the competition. This however, did not come to light until many politicians had already jumped on with the background checking idea.

Checking a person’s background can be a good thing. It can prevent online scams from reoccurring and help people feel safe about using online dating websites. However it is also a type of invasion of privacy and many people will avoid online dating websites because they do not want a background check and people do change.

This is a situation that will be sure to be in the news for many years to come. There are already a few states that passed a law that will require background checks. Users and online dating websites do have mixed feeling about this and before you say your opinion you should be sure to understand both sides of the argument. Making background checks mandatory could create a better online dating service for everyone. However it could also mean that the free services would no longer be available and subscription services would be more expensive than they are now. To learn more about the online dating website background checks that are out there in your state, you need to contact your local legislator’s office and ask about multiple questions. You should voice your opinion and you can create change.

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