It’s hard to believe that an online dating site like eHarmony can be so closed minded about allowing gays and lesbians to use their services. What were they thinking? Anyway, I think they’re moving in the right direction, however, why do they need to create a separate site?

You can read the article here.

eHarmony loses lawsuit, must now provide gay and lesbian matchmaking services

Embroiled in litigation for over two years, the online dating behemoth eHarmony has now agreed to pay two million dollars to settle a class action sex discrimination lawsuit. Read the rest here.

Many people refer to dating as a game. It’s understandable. I mean, you go out and try to figure out in a few hours whether or not the man or woman sitting across the table from you is worth going out with again. People in the dating game make up elaborate plans in order to boost their success rate, while trying to figure out the right place to find a suitable mate. No wonder people call it the dating game!

Yet there is a relatively new piece in the dating game, and that piece is the Internet. Now, more than ever, people can sit in the comfort of their own home, browse profiles, chat online and get an idea of what the other person is like, just by asking a few questions.

The Internet is fast becoming the best place to find suitable single people. Millions of singles are hooking up and building successful relationships over the Internet. However, if you’re looking to find a suitable single guy or gal over the Internet, there are a few things you should keep in mind.

Profile

Sure a profile is great, and most people assume they’re accurate, but this isn’t always the case. People can lie better over the net, than they could in person. It’s important that you keep your profile up to date, and keep in mind that the one you’re viewing on your glowing computer screen might not be as honest as you think.

Region

There are successful long distance relationships, but they are more likely to fail. The stresses of driving back and forth, plus the added strain of not being able to see each other very often, take their toll. In most cases, it’s far better to find someone online who is close to you.

Interests

The guy or gal, who you’re talking to, may be a veritable beauty queen or George Clooney look-a-like, but do they share any of your interests? If you’d like to win the jackpot in the dating game, you may want to make sure they share at least a few interests that you do.  Chat with them, find out what they like to do in their spare time, and you’ll get a better idea of what kind of person they are, and whether or not you’re compatible as a couple.

If you use good judgment, ask questions and be discerning when it comes to online personalities, you can win the dating game and find suitable single people every time.

Online dating related article

• ARA: We’re dating, but his online profiles are still active (timesunion.com)

1. Take time and make time. Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings can be considered abuse or neglect, so treat each other’s time with respect. If it’s lacking, it might mean time to move on.

2. Communication needs to “feel” right for both of you. If one of you is too pushy about meeting, for instance, that can give off bad vibes. So don’t rush. Take time to learn more about each other and develop trust.

3. Respect each others privacy. Don’t share personal email addresses or digital photos online, for example, if your online date sent you the information in confidence.

4. Share special online and offline fun times. Online – send greeting cards, links to favorite places to upload digital photos of your favorite pet, download music and video clips, post on favorite forums of interest. Offline- if you’re exchanging addresses or post office boxes, send print greeting cards and postcards, small items from your area (like a key chain with your state bird).

Tend to your online relationship. Water it with care and over time it can sprout and grow.

You wouldn’t give your name, address and phone number to a strange man that you met in a bar or on the street, would you? Therefore, you should never do that online either. Play it safe. Get to know this man who could turn out to be Prince Charming before you give out any information that could make it possible for him or others to trace you. Don’t tell a stranger exactly where you work. Say that you are a legal secretary (if that’s what you are) for a mid-sized law firm….not that you work for Brown, Smith and Jones Attorneys-at-law. It’s safe to tell him what city you live in but you should wait to be any more specific than that until you have been chatting and exchanging emails for awhile.

Use only the tools provided by the dating service you belong to. Most offer chat and private email on their site. Do not give out your personal email address. If you must give out an email address make it a free one such as Hotmail or Yahoo. Your personal address is traceable for anyone who wants to go to the trouble.

When the time comes for you to have your first face-to-face, make that first meeting in a public place and during day light hours. Take a friend with you or arrange for one to call you on your cell soon after the arranged meeting.

Remember…you ARE in control so don’t let anyone pressure you into revealing more personal information than you are comfortable revealing.

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• What can I find out about you if I know your email address? (petewarden.typepad.com)

Having a bad hair day, a missed flight, or a burned fried egg, can be endured by most people, but to have a bad date is like living in agony. When love becomes decapitated, life becomes a survival of the losers.

No wonder why everybody is trying hard to come up with something unique and quirkily entertaining when it comes to personal ads. These ads are not the typical ads that people see on televisions or in print. Personal ads are more like profiles, though; the main purpose is also to advertise one’s self. People who vie for personal ads are those who hope that someday love begets love and that somebody will soon find them among the many singles who try their luck in cupid’s daunting game.

So, here’s an individual, with their fingers crossed as they post their personal ad online, trying to find the love of their life and wishing that someday, somebody would soon reply. Five days, two weeks, 4 months, and still, they don’t get a response. The next thing they know, they’re already retracting their personal ad, sulk in the corner, and mope. They starts to develop low self-esteem and begins to blame themselves for not being desirable enough to get responses.

What they failed to do is to analyze what went wrong. They failed to look back on hertake a good look at their personal ad, identify each part, and evaluate what should have been done right to get the response they desperately needed.

The problem with most people, who fails to get responses on their online dating ads, is that they easily get depressed, and once they are depressed, they start to blame themselves and curse whoever managed to come up with an idea such as online dating and personal ads.

This should not be the case because not identifying the real problem or the ultimate cause of such negative results would only mean that the person is not really interested. Or maybe, he or she is interested but is too desperate to have positive results but do not have any idea how to make it happen.

People should know what to do with their personal ads to gain the gratifications they wanted. So, for people who want to have knockout personal ads that are proven to have positive results, here is a list of some tips:

1. People should learn how to describe their selves truthfully and acurately.

When making personal ads, people should take note of the things they should include on their ad.  It should include information that will provide the other person with a visualized concept of the person in the ad.

The explanation behind this logical reason is relatively simple. Who would try to obtain an item if the buyer does not know what he is getting? It goes to show that before somebody replies on one’s personal ad, the other person should feel the enticement in order to compel him or her to respond.

2. It would be better to tell more stories and not reports.

People should always remember that they are writing their personal ads. This means that they should meticulously find some ways on how to make their selves saleable to the viewing public.

It would be better to write some stories about their life and experiences. However, one should take note not to overdo this one as it will appear and sound like a mushy write-up ready to be devoured by some hungry wastebasket.

It is best to write something people can relate to. Persons who would like to have positive results on their ads should know where to draw the line between telling something about themselves and bragging about themselves. They are entirely two different things that derive two different reactions.

Best of all, honesty should always be incorporated in whatever write-up they do.

3. People should never dwell on negative aspects like problems or failed relationships.

Posting personal ads is not about obtaining some help from other people. So, there’s no room for advices or petty counseling sessions. It’s best to create a personal ad that would draw in positive responses by creating positive profiles first. As they say, once somebody starts something negative, chances are, the negative vibe will stick to the end.

The key point in writing personal ads is to come up with something that will appear very interesting and attention grabbing. So, if a person gets no response on his or her ad, there is no use crying over spilled milk. What matters most is how to start over with a nice, enticing personal ad.

First, you should suggest that the date take place in a very public area. Restaurants are a great place to start and give you a chance to talk to more than a movie date will. You can also suggest that you go to other public places as long as they are not too secluded. Concerts work well for example but walks in the park are not recommended since there are often wooded areas in which your date and you will be alone.

You should also suggest a date that will occur during the daytime rather than at night. You will be able to see one another much better and it is less dangerous and less likely that a predator could victimize you in the daytime since there are other people around. In either case, always find a good common meeting ground for your date. It is dangerous to get into a car with someone that you have not met. Remember that it is easy to lie online. It is easy to continue to lie in person as well. You have to get to know the person as well as his or her friends, family and co-workers so that you can learn to have trust in each other.

You should also try a group date. Invite one or two of your friends and have your date do the same. You can then go to a number of places such as an amusement park or a shopping mall. Your friends will then carefully monitor the situation so that you are sure to be safe. There is always safety in numbers. If you are not taking your friends, you should tell someone where you are going and when you should be back. Always carry a cell phone to be sure.

When you are feeling more comfortable with a person you can move on to more secluded dates. However remember to keep your guard up at all times until you know the person in real life as well as online. Many people will become victims of rape, kidnap, and even murder all the time and a number of situat8ions stem from predators meeting their victims online. Use good common sense when you are meeting someone for the first time so that you are not another statistic to read about.

Online dating is getting very popular and if you would like to join this world, there are a few things that you should keep in mind.  As with the other aspects of life, you will have more success if you follow the rules of the game and treat other people with respect. Some people may not realize these rules but in the end it will mean the difference between you getting the date and continuing to be single.

If you find an attractive picture online, it is ok to tell the person that you think they are nice looking.  However looks are not everything.  If that is all that you have to say online, then it is going to be better not to say anything at all. Read the person’s profile so that you can say something more than just a comment about their looks.

You can read their profile.  Always look at a person’s “My perfect date” section to see what he or she is going to be interested in. Most people are looking for others within a certain age range and distance from home.  They might also have preferences about children, smoking, religion, looks, race, and sexual preferences. If you are 33 and someone online is looking for a date between 20 and 28, he or she is not looking for you so you need to move on.

Do not send an initial email if you did not read the profile. Ask general questions like “How are you?” and “ What can you tell me about yourself?” can be annoying. Be more specific and ask the other person questions that can be answered in an email back to you and your questions will show her your personal interests.

The most important thing is if the other person is not interested, move on. Sometimes people will not answer your messages on purpose.  Online is the acceptable way of showing that you have no interest.  Do not repeatedly send messages that ask a person if they got your previous message.  They got them and they are simply not interested.  If someone writes you back and indicated that there is no chemistry for him or her, let the issue go.

There are millions of other profiles for you to pursue and someone is going to reply.  Writing back to that person and telling them that they are close-minded, mean, or something unpleasant is not going to help and it is against the rules of the websites.  Use your common sense and do not do or say anything that you would never do or say in real life.  Online dating can be more fun for everyone if you follow the rules of etiquette .

First it is a good idea to plan a first date that will take place in a public place. It is easy to lie online and you do not want to find yourself to be a victim of an online predator.  To be safe, you need to suggest meeting at the place of the date instead of getting into a vehicle with someone you do not know.  Plan a date for the daytime and it is usually a good idea to have very little alcohol involved.  If you are still not sure about meeting for security reasons, you should suggest a group date where each of you brings a few different friends.

There are a number of good date ideas that you can use for your first date.  You should always have a meal at a good restaurant or go to the movies.  However when you are eating or watching a film it is difficult to get to now another person.  You can suggest a date based on common interests that attracted you to the other person in the first place.  For example if you both enjoy sports, you can go to a baseball game or playing golf.  If you like the outdoor adventures you can plan a first date at a rock-climbing place.  For more quiet dates, you can meet at a coffee house or listen to a soft music concert.

The most important thing to remember about a date is to make sure that each person is comfortable.  If you are both having a bad time and it is obvious, it is not inappropriate to suggest leaving early.  However if you both are having a great time, you may want to extend the date to another activity after the first date has ended.  Leave the first date open because not every person will have a connection with you.  You need to be prepared for both success and failure.

The free online services have many advantages and the most important is that they require no out of pocket expenses. However because they are free and anyone can use the services, children may also be exposed. When you have to pay for online dating services it cuts out everyone that is not serious bout finding someone to have a relationship with online. It is also a way to make sure that you are speaking to someone that is at least 18 years old. You need to have a credit card to be able to pay for the online service. However there will still be ways that kids can get around this, but why put out an effort if they have free options to choose from?

The online dating services that charge you a subscription fee can also be a scam. However it is important to know what you are paying for and you need to read the terms and conditions very carefully so that your credit card is not charged very high fees. The Better Business Bureau can help to alert you to websites that may be a scam and steal credit card numbers. You have to be sure that you are paying for a service that is well known and safe.

You should also be aware of how to cancel services. These online dating websites will usually renew subscriptions on a certain day of the month, and it can be difficult to find on their website how to cancel your subscription. You have to be sure that you understand this before you sign up for it.

Online dating websites are a good benefit no matter if you pay for them or not. It is certain that you should use the kind of site that fits your best personal needs. The more serious daters should have a better chance at finding what they want on a site that that has fesses due. The mild is not even usually free for anyone.

The complete controversy began when the online dating scene was still fresh. This happened with a website that signed an exclusive contract with the Internet’s largest background checking service so that members could be sure that they were not conversing with the criminals. This at first may seem like a good idea since it will protect online daters from sharing personal information with people that have been known for sexual offenders or have committed fraud or other types of criminal acts. However this website than began pushing legislation that would require online dating websites to perform background checks.

This website has an exclusive contract and they would then force other websites to use more expensive background checking tools, and so the subscription fees would be more expensive. This would be controversial and also created a lot of free advertising for the initial background checking website. To say the least, it was a way to rise above the competition. This however, did not come to light until many politicians had already jumped on with the background checking idea.

Checking a person’s background can be a good thing. It can prevent online scams from reoccurring and help people feel safe about using online dating websites. However it is also a type of invasion of privacy and many people will avoid online dating websites because they do not want a background check and people do change.

This is a situation that will be sure to be in the news for many years to come. There are already a few states that passed a law that will require background checks. Users and online dating websites do have mixed feeling about this and before you say your opinion you should be sure to understand both sides of the argument. Making background checks mandatory could create a better online dating service for everyone. However it could also mean that the free services would no longer be available and subscription services would be more expensive than they are now. To learn more about the online dating website background checks that are out there in your state, you need to contact your local legislator’s office and ask about multiple questions. You should voice your opinion and you can create change.