10 Rules of Dating Etiquette

Are the old days of good manner, respect and chivalry gone?

It just seems that way because so many young people today don’t know the basics of etiquette and manners, it is not taught anywhere so unless someone you know teaches you then sadly this is fading out.

That is no reason for you to allow the good old days to fade.

The thing is that women are a lot more conscious of manners and courtesy. We have different upbringings and although we may not use typical manners when with our male friends,  it is not acceptable to use the same kind of manners when in the company of a lady.

This puts you in a great position because as women reluctantly accept the fact that most men’s manners are going out the window. They are genuinely shocked and impressed by a man that can show proper etiquette!

1. Standing Up

This may seem a little stuffy for some, but it is traditional etiquette that you stand whenever a lady enters or departs from a room (it is also etiquette to do it when an elder or someone very important enters or departs the room).

So don’t sit there on the sofa while she leaves, get up, at least say goodbye to her face to face, and don’t let her make her own way out. Walk her to the door and see her off properly!

All of this shows you care about her and you are paying attention to her, grunting goodbye at her from the sofa while you are still watching TV does not show respect or attention!

2. Door Etiquette

Everybody knows the rule of holding a door for a lady. Rut to do it right you need to hold it open for them and step out of the way so that they can pass. Nod and say, ‘after you’ if she hesitates. A smile always helps as well as she may be a bit stunned!

How about revolving doors then? Well these are a bit trickier. The guy goes in first (try an, “allow me” before you do so she doesn’t think you are just pushing in front) to push the door round for the lady who follows in behind you. And no spinning it round fast and having it smack into the back of them like you do with your friends!

These two are sure to get you a smile from a discerning lady.

3. Etiquette for Walking Into a Room

This one should be easy if you think about it…

… she walks in first because you are holding the door for her!

The same goes for concerts, movies, etc,  hold the door so she can enter and then the lady goes first into the row of seats.

On exit from the row,  you will be leading, so stand at the end to stop anyone from cutting off your partner as they exit the rows in front, and allow her to exit in front of you then walk beside her.

4. Table Manners

This is a sorely neglected area of people’s manners, but here a few tips to have you polished in no time!

• Always serve everything for the lady you came with, but never for a lady who came with another man (do it if they are by themselves though).
• Never talk with your mouthful or make noise as you eat.
• Never leave the table before the family or guests without asking to be excused by the host or hostess
• Always drink your soup from using the side of the spoon without any noise!
• Do not talk loud or boisterously
• When serving them never overload their plate or force them to have something which they have already declined once

5. Be Punctual

Always always always be on time for a date!

It shows respect, good planning and personal timekeeping and reliability.

Make sure you leave in plenty of time, and if necessary,  get there early and wait for a while, much better than run the risk of being late.

If you are running late, then telephone the lady. If she doesn’t answer her phone, call the restaurant to make sure she is aware of what is going on and not left to become unnecessarily anxious.

If you are having to rush to meet her  after you have phoned,  make sure you take a minute or two to ‘catch your breath’, compose yourself and straighten yourself out before you go the final stretch and meet her.

6. Conversation

Remember that a conversation is two sided. This means if you catch yourself talking for too long then apologise and turn the conversation to them.

For most people,  a great topic is themselves. They know a lot about that subject so they feel comfortable talking about it! Women love it when you show an interest in them and their lives, so try to get her to talk about herself more and she will really feel a connection with you.

Be enthusiastic and positive, no matter what they are saying, even if it is boring or not! This will put them at ease and more relaxed so a conversation will start to flow.

Try to avoid topics that evoke emotion like religion, politics and money. These may get you caught up in debate that is more suited to the comfort of your own home rather than on your date.

Laugh at funny jokes, but a smile will suffice for unfunny ones; you don’t have to laugh at everything or she will think you are trying too hard and being insincere!

7. Getting Comfortable

It is your place, as the man, to make sure that your date is comfortable at all times. Do not  keep asking her if she is comfortable, but to notice if she is looking cold or shifting in an uncomfortable seat and take appropriate action to remedy the situation.

If you are walking along and you see a puddle then you may be comfortable going through it but don’t drag her through it. You don’t have to throw your coat over it like in old times, but just make sure you both avoid it somehow.

Offer your coat if she is cold when you are out and about. Women tend to dress lightly since they hate to have too much stuff to carry around, so you should be prepared to sacrifice your coat or jacket to keep them warm (or getting them out of the cold is another solution!)

8. Eye Contact

Most people make eye contact when they are listening, but not when they are talking. Try to make as much eye contact as possible to let them know they have your undivided attention.

Make sure that you genuinely are paying attention to them so that they feel they are the only person in the whole place. If you look around the room or look at other people then the person talking will assume that you are bored and looking to get away.

A good rule with eye contact is to look at the spot just in-between people’s eyes. Don’t stare for extended periods of time, take a quick break by briefly looking at something else and then come back, otherwise the talker could become uncomfortable.

9. Be Yourself

People can usually tell when you are exaggerating, if not immediately. It will show through later and bite you in the butt.

It has also been said that women are 10x more sensitive to body language than men, so if you are lying or exaggerating, there is a good chance they will know it!

If you try and be someone  you are not, you’ll only trap yourself into lying in the future to keep up the pretence, or  having to be called out which will make you look worse than if you just tried to be yourself.

People can tell when you are trying too hard and that is not a good trait as it shows you are not comfortable with the real you.

10. Extra Tips

Lastly, some other things you need to remember for your date:

• ALWAYS make sure she gets home ok. If you can, escort her home, then go home. Cabs are not always as safe as they seem
• Never try and have sex on a first date. Men try it routinely, but if a woman responds then one of you is bound to cheat later on in the relationship with that attitude to sex!
• Never swear or use uncouth language in front of a lady. Yes they already know the words, but that does not make it acceptable to use them
• Always make an effort to be dressed smartly, be fresh and smell good
• Never argue or be rude to others on a date, just let things slide or you will look like a jerk
• Compliment your date, but only if you mean it!
• On the first date always pick up the tab, on later dates always do it unless she offers first
• Never date unless you are genuinely, genuinely single! None of this, ‘Well I am kind of seeing someone’. That is not acceptable behaviour.

How To Have A Great Date Without Going Broke

One very real barrier to a lot of people when it comes to their social lives is their wallet. A flash date can cost hundreds of dollars, and many people just don’t have that kind of money to play around with. But the good news is you can have a great date without all that expense.

The next time you want to take a man or woman out on a date, try doing something less costly, more creative and in a lot of ways, more fun. For instance, you could go for a walk along the water, play catch or Frisbee in a park, have a picnic or take a bike tour of your city or nearby trails.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There are no shortages of great date ideas that don’t come with a huge price tag attached. How about playing a board game or charades, while sipping wine and eating cheese? Or you could find your nearest ice-cream parlor and share a cone. Take a day trip and sleep in your car, go to the beach, check out a movie at the nearest drive-in, go for a hike or head down the river in a rented canoe.

Figuring out date ideas without the expense just takes a little bit more imagination on your part. Yet many people don’t even think about it, but instead drain their bank accounts, all in the name of love. They never consider the fact that a less expensive, but more imaginative date could be far more effective.

Think about it for a second. If you were asked out on a date, wouldn’t you appreciate it if someone did something out of the ordinary to impress you? It wouldn’t seem cheap, just more fun. Plus, most of the date ideas mentioned above have the added bonus of conversation time. The main idea of dating is to get to know someone a little better, and by doing something where conversation is likely, you’re way ahead of the game.

Don’t let money stop you from dating! Use some of the great date ideas mentioned in this article or think outside the box, and come up with your own. Money doesn’t have to be an issue. There are plenty of great date ideas without the expense, just waiting for you to try them out.

Why He’s Not Going To Call

You’re on your first date, a little nervous, trying to loosen up, so you have a martini –or two or three – before dinner. Then some wine with dinner. Suddenly you find yourself talking about your ex-boyfriend (he was such an asshole! Nothing like the guy you’re out with tonight!). And then that other ex-boyfriend (also an asshole), until you’ve given your date a drunken detailed primer to your former dating life. Don’t hold your breath waiting for a call about a second date.

We’ve all done our share of dating faux pas, and had to live to remember them. While they make for amusing fodder for Sunday brunch chatting with the girlfriends, it sucks to go on a date and completely ruin any future chances by falling into a typical dating trap. Drinking too much and talking about your ex are two surefire ways to ruin your chances of a second date.

Avoid Talking About Your Past

Aside from giving detailed history lessons about your dating past, try to avoid being “emotionally slutty.” If it’s your first date, now is not the time to talk about all of the problems life has loaded upon you, like your parents’ divorce, your grandmother’s funeral, how you got fired from your job, the time when you were five and your puppy got hit by a car and died. It’s a first date – it should be fun, easy and exciting! Don’t bring it down by getting too serious. You’ll just freak the poor guy out – and bum yourself out.

Avoid First Date Sex

While being an “emotional slut” is not advised, being just straight-up slutty is also a big No. I know, so cliché – but it’s true: Sleeping with a guy on the first date will make him (a) wonder, “how often does she do that!?” and (b) assume that you’re not a serious relationship kind of gal. Yes, there are times when a first-date sleepover can lead to future dates and a serious relationship but let’s be realistic – the relationship is most likely to progress to “booty call” status, if anything.

Avoid First Date Interviews

Aside from making yourself look like a fool, you can also freak out your date by placing too much attention on him with interview-style grilling. Asking questions is good, but firing one after the other at your date can be scary. You should be having a conversation, telling him about yourself too, not grilling him for his marriage-ability. (You can always get to that later).

Avoid Drinking Too Much

Last but not least, the ultimate dating faux pas that is most likely to get you into trouble and spur you on to commit one of the other dating sins is drinking too much! Maybe you feel funnier or more outgoing for a while, but after a certain point, it’s just more likely to make you act like a moron. You’re more likely to spill into emotional histories and ex-boyfriend stories, and more likely to hop into bed with him without considering the consequences. So lay off the cosmopolitans (well, not completely), sit back, relax, and enjoy your date. And afterwards? Expect his call in two to three days.

How To See Your True Partner

Most people keep their true selves hidden, especially when they want to impress someone. This fact has a way of biting people in the butt when dating. You meet a guy or girl, both are looking for a relationship, and it’s only natural that you want to show off your polished attributes while hiding your more tarnished side. After all, when you’re first meeting a possible romantic partner, you don’t want them to know that you roll your socks up into balls, or leave the toilet seat up after you’ve gone to the bathroom.

However, some people are better at hiding their true selves than others. Sometimes you can be in a committed relationship before you learn that your partner has some unsavory attributes that he or she had successfully kept hidden until now. While leaving the toilet seat up might be mildly annoying, the fact that your new live-in partner likes to punch holes in walls or fling ashtrays at your head when angry, isn’t something that can be passed off as annoying.

There are a few ways that you can test their personality before you commit. For instance, watch how they react when under stress. Most people can keep their true selves under wraps when everything is right in the world, but can’t maintain the mirage when under strain. Watch carefully how they react when angry, sad, annoyed or upset. In most cases, this is when their true colors will come shining through.

You can also watch how they treat the people around them. Does your new boyfriend treat his mom like a queen? Does your new girlfriend maliciously gossip about everyone when hanging out with her friends? If so, you can bet your bottom dollar that this is an indication of what they are like when not trying to impress someone.

You can also watch how they interact with strangers. Suppose you go out to a restaurant for a bite to eat, and the waiter brings them an order of shrimp, instead of the clams they originally ordered. Do they react angrily? Or do they just shrug it off, make a joke, and wait calmly for the waiter to fix their order? If they are a jerk over something so easily corrected, how are they going to be with you, if you screw something up? Everyone makes mistakes, but ideally you want a partner that’s going to be understanding, and not over-react.

The bottom line is, that people have a hard time pretending to be something they’re not, when the going gets rough. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and you want to make sure that when the going gets rough…your partner isn’t a jerk. By watching their actions and reactions before hand, you can spy out potential relationship ending problems that will crop up in the future.

First Date Conversation – How To Keep It Flowing

A first date can be extremely awkward. Both of you are nervous and trying to make a good first impression. Maybe you’re not the most confident person either, which makes keeping the conversation flowing a bit more difficult. When people become nervous and unsure of themselves, they tend to clam up, believing that it’s better to say nothing at all, than it is to say something and look stupid.

However, clamming up doesn’t work either. Sure, you might not look stupid, but you’ll still look boring. The man or woman sitting across from you will think there is no chemistry between you, and the second date will be a distant fantasy. Wouldn’t you like to avoid this eventuality and know how to keep a first date conversation flowing?

Wine

You don’t have to get your date drunk in order to loosen their tongues a bit. You shouldn’t get drunk either. Nothing is worse than getting punch drunk, saying something stupid or looking like a complete moron on the first date. But you can enjoy a glass of wine together, and use the alcohol to relax.

Add to this, a nice quiet, unthreatening atmosphere, such as a romantic restaurant and some candlelight, and you’ve got a recipe for success. If you want to keep a first date conversation flowing, keep some wine flowing as well!

Questions Answered

The best way to keep a the conversation flowing is to ask questions. Ask your date what he or she does for a living, what their interests and hobbies are or what they like to do to relax. You’ll get to know more about them, maybe get an idea for a second date and the conversation will flow naturally.

You also need to look interested when your date answers your questions. Don’t yawn, stretch, break eye contact to look at another guy or woman and never wear a bland expression. When they answer your questions, follow up with another one or add a tidbit of your own. Your questions will surely lead to them questioning you too, so be ready for that. Choose topics that you feel comfortable answering. By asking questions first, you can control the path of the conversation somewhat, so use this to your advantage.

There you have it. Keeping the conversation flowing on a first date is as easy as that. When you’re out on your next date, be sure to keep these two handy dating tips foremost in your mind, and you’re sure to be successful when conversing. Don’t let another date dwindle into the realm of awkward silences and rejection.

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