Having Fun Keeps A Relationship Alive

June 30, 2010 by  
Filed under Relationship

play on beach
Image by Leonard John Matthews via Flickr

We all know how to have fun, at least we used to.  For many adults we seem to have lost the ability to just let go and have some fun, along with some great, big belly laughs.  Unfortunately that lack of fun can have serious negative effects on us, our health, and our relationships. Put some fun back in your relationship. You might save your relationship…and your mind!

Having fun with your partner can be virtually anything that the two of you enjoy together. And if it makes you laugh out loud, that’s even better. You can go to an amusement park, check out the latest comedy at the local movie theater, stay home and play a energetic video game, whatever.  One word of caution though, when playing games together: don’t let your competitiveness become a problem.  This isn’t a competition between you and your partner, it’s a chance for the two of you to share an easy going, fun, time together.

If you are the type of person that is overly competitive (which is almost always a sign of being very insecure and you may want to get some counseling to help you feel better about yourself, so you don’t always have to ‘win’ . You’d be better off sticking to non- competitive fun things with your partner, forget the games for now.

When you really let go and act like a twit that can be a scary thing.  You might be afraid your partner will think you’re weird and make fun of you.  When you can share these times with your partner and you are both acting silly together, that actually builds trust between the two of you.   That is just another bond between the two of you and your relationship is one step to becoming stronger.

When you first started dating your partner, and falling in love, the two of you probably laughed and acted silly all the time.  But as we grow into our relationship, especially when we start living together and start sharing the responsibilities of a household, we seem to have fun with our partners less and less.

One thing you can do to determine how much fun is in your relationship,  is over the course of a week, keep a journal.  Mark down how many things you do with your partner that are pleasant, such as watching a movie together, talking, going for a walk, playing a game, and having sex, etc., versus how many non-fun things you do together such as taking out the trash, talking about your financial situations, talking about troubles at work, etc.

If this ratio of good times vs. bad times is like most relationships, it’s probably way out of balance.  Most couples will have many more of the mundane daily interactions than they will of the fun loving, building a bond interactions. The first step to changing it is to recognize it.

You can strengthen your bond with your partner by putting some fun back into your everyday lives.  It’s not a hard thing to do and you’ll both feel better about yourselves, about each other, and about your relationship…what could be better?

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