Tips To Revive A Stale Sex Life

Myth: Sex Must Be Spontaneous to be Sexy & Enjoyable

Maybe you feel like this – maybe you’ve thought it, or heard it somewhere. It’s a popular myth that’s floating around nowadays, but as I said, it’s a myth.

Yet still some people think that sex must be spontaneous and ‘random’ to be truly enjoyable. This is one of the most stupid things you can possibly think.

When you both work, have children, or are just busy people, it can be hard to find the time or energy for sex. When it comes down to it, it’s just not there. It’s an unfortunate fact of life.

You want it to be random and sexy, and in the end, you just don’t have any. Instead of falling into this trap, decide a time where you actually plan to have sex that night.

Write it down and send your partner a ‘love note’, mentioning – specifically – what you plan to do to them. Add detail and color to ensure that they, without a doubt, get the point.

Make sure you have a bit of time, and put candles around the room, or buy flowers if you’re a guy – set the mood so that it’s something new, different, and – dare I say it? – romantic.

This spices things up.

Another trick to spicing up your evening alone is wearing sexy lingerie – this only applies to the woman of course unless you want a really kinky night! But a simple, sexy teddy or a tiny mesh bikini bottom can turn a boring night into an unforgettable one. Or the guy can get some saucy underwear as well, he may feel silly in it but that is half the fun.

If you’re embarrassed to purchase these sort of items in a store, never fear! There are countless websites that ship in a non-descript box right to your door, so you never have to worry about what the neighbor will think of your hot new look.

Men, are you listening? Go to the store and fulfill your fantasy – purchase your lady the best, hottest lingerie you can find, and ask her to wear it for you one night!

New Locations

Did you ever consider having sex on the kitchen table? Maybe in the dining room – or on the living room couch, when nobody is around.

Don’t be afraid to try new locations to make your sex life more interesting, because moving around is important. If you stick in the bedroom, you’re not going to experience much variety!

Move out gradually – try showering together, and see what happens. Even if you end up in the bed eventually, doing something different like that can spice it up.

Then, perhaps try a spare bedroom, or the couch – something a little more familiar. You don’t have to jump into it all at once, and taking it slow will let you get a bit more accustomed to it.

A change of scenery is important. Even in sex!

Travel

One five star New York City hotel owner pointed out that almost 80% of his clientele actually lived in New York City, and were coming out to the hotel in order to get away from their life.

You don’t have to go far, but a hotel room may be just what the doctor ordered for your sex life. You see, it doesn’t matter whether you’re going to be in the city you live in, or a thousand miles away – what matters is that you’re away from your home and the bed that you’ve always been in.

Just grab a small bag of clothes, and each other. Sit in the bathtub together, give each other massages on the new, strange bed, and keep neighbors up all night with the… TV.

Sure.

The TV.

It doesn’t have to cost much, and it can make you feel amazing about yourself, and your sex life.

Feel Sexy

Being sexy isn’t as much looking sexy, as feeling sexy. And if you’re starting to feel bad about how you look, it could be seriously affecting not only your pleasure in bed, but the pleasure of your partner.

Instead of feeling crappy about yourself, and your sex life, take the time and feel good about yourself. There are a lot of different ways to do this, too, and not all of them will work on one person – so figure out what feels good for you.

The most obvious way is to start working out. Grab your partner if you don’t want to go alone, and head to a gym, or just do some walking or jogging outside.

It may take up to three months to see results, depending on your current level of fitness and the time you put into your workouts, but you feel good now, working out and taking care of your body.

You can’t beat it, huh?

Also, consider taking your partner to a spa for a day (Or heading out solo for some you time), getting a haircut, or purchasing a few new pieces of clothing.

Men – worried this sounds more feminine than masculine? Trust me – something new makes any gender feel good about themselves.

Try New Positions

Did you consider this before, but toss it out of the window because your partner wasn’t adventurous enough? Ot maybe you think you’ve tried every position?

Well, bring it back to the table – and re-think your previous notions, because trying new positions can be more exciting than you think. It creates more variety in your sex life, and doing it the same way time after time just isn’t as interesting as it could be.

Not sure where to find these new positions? Head to the book store (Or online) and look up Tantra – specifically, Tantric Sex, which is rooted in Indian beliefs.

You’ll find positions, and ways to have sex, that are varied and very interesting. Even if you’ve been in ‘every damn position I can think of’, you probably haven’t tried these, like the Missionary position, with the woman’s legs closed to embrace the man fully.

Interested?

You can find a lot of information in it, and no matter how experienced you are, something new.

Movies

Maybe you like to watch porn – maybe it’s just not something you want to share with your partner. Perhaps it’s something you never think of, or maybe it’s something that your partner knows about, but doesn’t get involved in.

If you’re feeling like you’re in a sexual rut of sorts, try renting a sexy video, or downloading one and burning it to a DVD. Clear out the house and pop it into the DVD player in the living room.

Watch it with your partner, and don’t feel guilty or afraid of being turned on by it – that’s the point! After the movie, try some of the things you’ve just seen, or simply enjoy your partner, and the love that you share.

Watching sexy movies isn’t bad, and it’s not a sin. You won’t go to hell – you’ll just have better sexual relations.

Relax Beforehand

Feeling too stressed to want to have sex, and it’s ruining your intimacy? It’s ironic, because having an orgasm releases chemicals that reduces your stress level. I know – it’s funny, right? Well, not if you’re not having sex, it isn’t.

Before you’re ready to have sex, take some time for yourself. Spend 10 minutes completely quiet, meditating or just enjoying the silence. Yoga is a great way to calm yourself – exercise can help get that blood flowing everywhere, including the places it needs to go.

Take some time for yourself, and reduce your stress level before hitting the sheets. It can help!

Flirt

Being a little flirtatious during the day with your partner can make them feel much, much more ready for bed – and it can help you feel good about yourself, too.

Make sexual innuendo’s and jokes, offer flowers or a gift to your partner as an appreciative gesture (not an ‘I’m sorry’ gesture), and take them out to a romantic and fun ‘date night’.

Flirting and courting is something that should be continued in a longterm relationship, and even throughout marriage – because it’s exciting, and makes both of you feel good about what you’re doing.

Remember the old saying – what you did to get’em, you do to keep’em!

Atmosphere

Before venturing outside of the room, why don’t you try something new – like setting a romantic, sensual atmosphere in your own room, instead of outside.

When it comes to men and women, the atmosphere can make or break a hot night – especially with women. What can you do in order to spice up the room, and the feelings?

Scented candles work well, and putting a few around the bedroom before the magic happens, along with dimming the lights, can make a big difference.

Sensual-scented incense can heighten both of your pleasure, as well as make your room smell good afterwards, instead of sweaty.

If you’re not a big ’scent’ person, try some new decorations – buy luxury, soft sheets for the special occasion, and use lights that are dimmer than usual to create a romantic and exciting atmosphere.

The atmosphere is everything – especially with women – so get it right!

Toys

Have you considered trying sex toys? If you haven’t, you should – because it can make a boring, routine night a much more exciting one, without hassle or stress, and without too much ‘out of the box’ thinking.

You can purchase different toys online, or in sex stores, depending on what you want to try. Don’t expect to do something crazy, and make sure both of you are comfortable with it. There are many different sorts of toys out there, so don’t be afraid to look at more than one before you make your purchase.

Toys are something fun, different, and exciting that will make your night worthwhile. Don’t worry – they do not detract from the bedroom, or each other. They enhance it!

Remember…

Rome wasn’t built in a night – give yourself, and each other, time to enjoy and appreciate the sex that you’re having. Try new things, shake it up, and try, as hard as you can, not to fall into a rut that will leave you unhappy.

Before turning to an alternative like having an affair, or worse, a divorce, talk with your partner about your sexual relationship. Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to admit that you might not be entirely happy with it… the most likely thing is that they won’t be happy either.

Sex should be fairly often – at least once a week – and you should feel excited about the prospect, not annoyed.

It won’t happen overnight, but taking some time and figuring out what you want can save your relationship, and make you feel young again!